Feeling good because:

- things are REALLY great with DH, and Munchkin SD12. Last night she asked me to curl her beautiful hair and we laughed and cackled at my ineptitude (needing practice - I was never a girly type, and have naturally curly hair!). She was very forgiving, however.

- I still am really having a great time with my job. Everyone (all 2!) is really nice and considerate. I am making more money, and of course spending it on nice dinners, and clothes, and evenings out. And plants, lots of plants, to go into the garden. I am giving DH my half of our bills and rent, and so that keeps HIM happy too. His stress levels have pretty much gone down. No more breaking out into hives.

- Rates are great for home buying. I will be shopping with DH for mortgages to buy the house we live in. Super excited for the fix up projects we have in mind.

Feeling slightly sad because today isToxic Feral's 20th bday. I feel sad for DH, because their relationship is such crap, with all her accusations of abuse, and rudeness and accusations against me. But I do feel bad for how things have turned out. I feel bad that she has such a hateful attitude towards me and DH. I feel sad that no matter what happens, DH and I will always be the jerks, the a$$holes. No matter his sacrifices, no matter that Toxic Troll missed 2 birthdays chasing d!ck, DH is still the asshole. No matter that Toxic Troll choked her and beat her, DH and I are still he assholes.

I guess we ARE the assholes, because she will never be stepping foot in my house ever again. I was recalling a fight we had (that she referenced in her texted tirade against DH and I) where she said that she wished I would just go away. She screamed it from behind the door. You see, I had enough respect to not open the door. Or pound on it. I told her she will get her wish. That I will go away from her life forever. Someday. Well, happy birthday Toxic Feral, I am granting and will continue to grant you that wish!

I am a little sad that our little family has this shadow over us, this Toxic Cloud. I know DH will always love his daughter. And yet he cannot have me in his life, and have her in his life, she has made that impossible. The absoluteness, the certainty with which I write this - it just makes me a little sad. DH and I are great together and are building a happy future. Its just too darn bad it has to be this way.

Perhaps things will change in the future. Perhaps she will be completely different person. Perhaps her narcissism will just melt away. Perhaps miracles will happen and pigs will fly...