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23 SD Feral Forger has a sadz

CLove's picture

She called me. I for some reason thought during holidays she might reach out and try to mend things but big heck no on that, and I was very foolish in unblocking her so with that being said...

We were having a really nice Friday evening together. SD16 PS was in her room just hanging out on the phone with friends or whatever. Everything has been going great all week in fact.

Cue the violins indicating something dark twisted and crazy...

Feral Forger calls me. I knew it was her because her contact name is A$$hole Stepkid. I pick up curious. Shes in trembly voiced tears and tells me she wants her DAD. I persevere and say "you called me. Whats up." So the back and forth starts. I want to know what the latest tragic story is, because I dont get the whole story from anyone. First mistake.

Second mistake was when she tells me (doesnt ask) that she needs to move in for "just one month". Yeah right. I told her "the house is half mine and you called me names and accused me of abusing you, why on earth would you even want to move in and live in my home?" Do not try reasoning with Crazy. I should not have even opened that door.

Then the back and forth "I grew up there its my HOME" no really its mine, I pay for it and pay taxes on it and my name is on it. Again you cannot reason with crazy.

So tears and more tears. "you always put me down!" No I didnt, I told you how pretty you are and how nice your voice is for singing. Gave suggestions for you to do open mic nights and get your drivers license so you could have freedome and success in life.

So, my next mistake was engaging further until she hung up on me because it was obvious I wasnt going to put her father on MY phone.

Once he finished with his piddling around, he called. Put her on speaker. Shes crying and wanting to move in. To his credit he told her no, and that she and I wouldnt work as housemates. He brought up the fact that she made zero efforts to reach out to him to build a relationship. That the last time he was at the Toxic Troll apartment she did not even acknowledge his presence with a hello, and that previous to that, when he drove 3 hours to another house share she "needed resuing from" that did nothing to acknowledge him no thank you no nothing, and that maybe in the future she might want to try for a relationship.

She did bring up the conversation she had with me. That I mentioned the spouse should be number one priority and adult skids do not "come first". Yup another mistake I made. Telling her that adult "kids" do not come first with their parents...! I should definitely be crucified for that one, folks.

I did tell Husband that we need to be a united team. That if we are not then I am done with everything, as I am done with skids. I told him I need to be his number 1...priority. Minor skids are a number 1 responisbility. I need to be

So...that was last night. Today will definitely be better. There was pleasantness with Husband and myself. We did not talk this morning about anything to do with Feral Forger.

Comments

CLove's picture

From her cousin who is also a good friend to me...that she was told she needs to leave and find a new place by January.

Its funny because she never mentioned that. To me or her father. Sweetheart Cousin even coached her (we just discussed everything in detail) that she should really be nice and apologise for all the things she did and said. Didnt happen, so I guess it didnt sink in. SC tried to get through to FF that this house isnt JUST her fathers, its mine too.

Im actually glad that she was nasty to me and didnt try to be nice nor apologise to me, so Im under no obligation. in all honesty its better for me. I have an out. SC cannot have anyone living with her because of some past issues that shes working on for herself. So she has an out. I suspect that each and every one of the clan will have some kind of out.

I did suggest that husband pay for a month in a houseshare...but that didnt go over well, so Im staying out of everything...

CLove's picture

Sorry about that!

Sweetheart Cousin has never lived with Feral Forger, ever. Toxic Troll a few months ago, was evicted out of her second apartment supposedly because of Feral Forger...and she moved into a home share situation where she has a room and SD16 PS has a bunk bed there. Supposedly TT moved to a place that FF couldnt try to weasel her way into.

Apparently TT has had enough of FF and her Toxic Sludge ways.

CajunMom's picture

I suggest you Block her and leave her blocked. No change in behavior there. Why continue? If you can't block her, then start prepping for the next call. Want to talk to your dad? Call his phone. Goodbye. Hang up. 
 

I love my world. I don't know jack about DHs kids' problems or good things that happen to them. He has one that's possibly homeless again and I don't care. That's DHs kid and his problem. Ignorance is bliss in StepHell. 

CLove's picture

For some reason I thought "well maybe she wants to repair things, Ill leave the door open for that".

Sweetheart cousin tried to get through to her apparently and told her she needs to treat her parents better and apologise for all the stuff she said and did. And that its my house...didnt get through. Didnt sink in. The entitlement.

CajunMom's picture

to fool us and lure us back in. Trust me...when I comment on your posts, 99% of the time, I've been there, done that. I continued letting DH's kids back into my life with no or minimal change, thinking the same. And each time, I got my ass kicked. I eventually learned my lesson. As I begin to lessen boundaries with DHs kids, he knows some boundaries and behaviors of mine will NEVER change. The biggest one....I do not see any of DHs kids ever sleeping over in our home. I could go on but I know you fully understand, too. So...cheers to both of us learning this walk of disengagement!

CLove's picture

They ONLY try when they have use for us, when they can use us. Thats it. And I refuse to be treated like less than. Like dirt. No more consideration for SD16 power sulk either. Im not talking much about her, but she was also very very rude to me the other night. So, when shes 18 she will need to figure things out, because I will rent her room out...so fast.

AgedOut's picture

For some reason I thought "well maybe she wants to repair things, Ill leave the door open for that".

 

spoiler alert: she didn't, she won't, she never will. shut the door, lock it three ways, put a chair under the doorknob, stack your dresser and bookshelves in front of that chair. never ever open it for her again. 

CLove's picture

yeah, you are on target. And my blocking needs strengthening. She will find someone else to use and abuse. She will find someone else sympathetic. Or whatever. Shes not nice and shes filthy and rude. Somewhere someone will be ok with that.

But she only has 3 more weeks to work her wiles.

Im actually glad that I picked up this time, because it further strengthens the stance I am taking in my household. That I am not going to allow the toxic inside and Husband knows it and will stand strong also. Me being there listening so now I know what he is telling her.

Block block blockity block block.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Wow, she sounds exactly like my SD's - except the oldest one, sd21, is a sociopath, so her tears are hard to come by - and I think she knows how fake they sound to her dad. Thank goodness she found a a fulfilling life selling cocaine and meth and doing doordash, otherwise I'd have to kick her out too. 

The other SD's are almost as bad. I feel for you. Glad you and DH stood up to her and said no. Its much more fun to hear them lying over the phone than in person, while they eat your food and leave your toilet paper rolls barren.

CLove's picture

yeah, not as much fun as getting waterboarded or strung up by your toenails!

SD23 Feral Forger is attractive and has much-flaunted assets, she will land somewhere very quickly. There are lots if rescuers out there without much in the way of brains...

Harry's picture

You know it's never going to work out,  She not nice now.  Once she moves in. It's going to be He*l   Please don't do it.  Keep her blocked. Tell DH he can move in with her. If he wants. 

CLove's picture

She loves rolling around in her own filth and garbage. He loves a clean happy home. She loves stealing, he loves his financial stability...

Thats going to be a he/11 no from both of us Biggrin

Rags's picture

have to accomodate the kind of crap that FF is perpetrating. She can Google Women's or Homeless shelters and figure her own shit out.

All of them can.

Bridges that these types burn need to stay burrned.

Keep the burned bridge block in place. Maybe in a decade or two if she has remained non toxic, as unlikely as that may be, then maybe meet her for lunch.  Decades from now.  Even then, probably out of morbid curiosity.

Enjoy your TT & FF free holidays.

CLove's picture

Indefinitely. I dont think that much will change. She will find someone DUMB enough or who doesnt know the truth of things with her to rescue her.

For me, I have had many changes happening and do not have any need for rescuing nor am I any longer curious. Its always going to be the same cripe.

notsobad's picture

I think it was good that you answered and talked to her. It was a lowering of boundries not a removal. It confirmed that you were right to put the boundries up in the first place and now need to keep them up.

You are trying to communicate and she's the same as she ever was. Block her again but keep an ear to the ground and if SC ever says she thinks maybe SD is ready to change, try it again, if only to confirm again that she will never change.

kjUofM99's picture

If you drop your guard and she pulls her typical stunts, then you get hurt.  If you keep your guard up, block her, then that tiny bit of hope that lingers in all of us starts whispering "maybe this time...."  I am struggling with whether to block the SD...it seems so harsh but then again, she did say she never wants to speak to me again and does not want to be in my life so maybe I am confusing how I would feel about being blocked with how she would feel.  Regardless, protect your heart and be grateful that your DH is wise to her ways.