Contacting the BM (VENT)
After the last 4+ years of having SS15 I haven't had an adult conversation with BM. Lately I've really wanted to send her a message but I had to ask myself what do I hope to achieve from doing so. She's certainly not on the same intellectual level as me or maturity level for that matter, she hasn't spoken to SS in months and I can't stand SS...(counting down the days/months/years to departure). Anyway I decided me wanting to contact her is only for my selfish reasons...I fell like I should be able to tell how pissed I am that we (DH and I) are raising their child with not only ZERO financial support from her but ZERO emotional support either. It's like she just checked out from being a parent to him, she doesn't call, she doesn't send gifts, she doesn't write, she doesn't visit or compromise for SS to visit...she doesn't do anything as a parent in regards to SS. However I fell guilty for wanting to "shame" her so to speak when honestly I just want her to take him back or be prepared to take him back. (Queue the violins) I think it is ridiculously unfair that she can check out from his life at his age when she was all he ever knew, she kept him away from DH for years, in my opinion she didn't instill a lot of positive traits for him and now she can't even find time to call and say hello but she's constantly on social media (I'm sure no more than the rest of us), she's constantly posting pics of herself and (who I guess)is her bf...and continues to change residencies and phone numbers without even a thought that SS may want to talk to her (we usually get new contact info months later from BGM). It drives me crazy and I can't stand her for it. So again I come back to what do I hope to accomplish by letting her know this is how I feel?
- ChaCha's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
There right now with SD15.
There right now with SD15. BM1 is a piece of crap who hasn't totally checked out of SD15 life, but for the most part has. SD has been with us for almost a year now and BM pays nothing, does nothing. BM actually had the fucking nerve to get pissed off when DH filed for CS last month. WTF bitch, this is YOUR kid! I think the ONLY reason that SD even sees or talks to BM is because BM is basically homeless and ends up staying with GBM A LOT... and SD15 loves her GBM so goes over there and "crosses paths" with BM.
I have so much resentment in my heart for the fact that MY money, MY time, etc are going to help raise a kid that DH never even wanted to begin with. BM was the one who just HADDDD to have her and then ditched her. I know it sounds awful, but it's true and I know that none of it is SD15 fault, but it doesn't make me any less resentful.
BM is due any day with kid #5 with baby daddy #3. I mean if you don't even have custody or care for your first FOUR fucking children, why the fuck do you need another????
GAH! Sorry for the language.. it just works me up to no end.
I understand you're
I understand you're frustration and I could go on and on about CS orders...I'll never understand how she's still walking around not paying anything on an order that was supposed to be established almost 2 years ago...yet she has 3 others and keeps the latest shoes, sneakers and her hair appointments. While I (as the mother of this house) put so much on the back burner...I understand it comes with the territory of excepting stepchildren but DAMN...I wasn't there when SS was created. UGH...round and round we go.
I have been there so many
I have been there so many times myself. I have actually tried the contact thing and was left even more frustrated and pissed off.
Type up as many emails and letters as you want and store them in a folder and DO NOT SEND. Vent here and try and talk to a therapist to help you deal with it.
I kinda like this
I kinda like this idea...because I am worried I'll end up more livid then before based off of her response.
I have talked to BM maybe
I have talked to BM maybe three or four times. She usually contacts me first. I usually stop the conversations. She always has to have the last word in and she is never wrong. Don't contact her, it will just piss you off even more.
All you will get if you
All you will get if you contact her is an Academy Award worthy performance of how she is the bestest MOTY and how her love for her special snowflake is magical and spiritual and otherworldly. And how you couldn't POSSIBLY understand.
LOL...not the Academy Award
LOL...not the Academy Award Haahahaha! The last time we spoke it was probably one of the most ignorant conversations I've ever had with someone but that was several years ago and I can't see how she could possibly go on about her being MOTY but stranger things have happened.
If anything I'd contact BM's
If anything I'd contact BM's mom.