A Shockingly Wonderful Week w/ SS11

SS11 left today after a week with us. It was actually very pleasant and he wasn't an entitled, cocky asshole for any portion of the visit. I have no idea what happened or what was different.

SS11 arrived last Saturday, ran through the door, and immediately ran to DD16months and started swinging her around and playing with her. He then ran up and gave me a huge hug. He was talkative and excited to be back, despite only being gone a week.

Throughout the course of the week, we went to the local fair, took a trip to the aquarium, and had a game night at home. He was pleasant and appreciative of each outing, saying "Thank you" for literally everything. His biggest concern the whole week was DD; he didn't care if he was bored as long as she was having fun. If she fell over or was upset, he was quick to jump in and comfort her. He sang her nursery rhymes and watched her toddler TV shows.

My birthday is tomorrow and since SS was leaving today, we celebrated yesterday. We went to dinner and after dinner, we went to Target so SS could get me a card and a gift. I took DD around to look at stuff while DH and SS figured it out. We got home last night, SS eagerly wrapped up my gift and card and gave them to me. He bought me a "Mom" card that was very sentimental and at the bottom wrote "Thank you for being an awesome Mom. Happy Birthday! Love, SS" I was completely taken aback. Last year for my birthday, he got me a card that said "you're special" and it was a generic card for anyone.

Today, BM's parents and her brother came to pick SS up and he seemed genuinely sad to leave, even though he will be back next Saturday. He gave us all big hugs and waved as they drove away.

I don't know what happened, but I'll take it!

CastleJJ's blog
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Maybe only being gone a week was helpful?

Maybe only being gone a week was helpful? It will be interesting to see if it keeps up while he is on this kind of a schedule. Or was BM not around as much for the week he was with them? So glad to hear the good news!

I think that only being gone

I think that only being gone 1 week meant BM didn't have adequate time to program SS. I also think that BM only calling SS once during the week instead of three times over two weeks made the difference. He was weird before her call and after her call but I think the overall lack of BM's presence significantly helped.

He comes back next Saturday for another week so it'll be interesting to see if it is the same or not. Then we don't see him again until Christmas so that will really be the indicator.

Hey, Castle,

Your SS's close bond of affection with his little sister says a lot for him. Few boys of his age would be interested in a toddler, much less have compassion for her tumbles and upsets. At heart, SS appears to be a pretty good kid. If only he could have more time with you and his father!

I believe that you, your DH

I believe that you, your DH and a little one are good influence on SS. Even if the visits are limited, it does make a difference. He sounds like a good kid, just brainwashed and guilted by his mother. I commend your DH for not dropping the rope and giving up but instead fighting for visits and keep it going. You all can be a good influence on SS. And he can have a good sibling relationship with DD even with limited visits. My DD is close with her younger siblings even though she never lived with them full time and in fact two were born she was already an adult. It's doable and possible. Keep up a good work