capp1978's Blog

Update on 18 year old Alcoholic

So I talked to my father in law last night who is very active in the AA community, a leader and sponsor. He told me he's fighting the same fight with his wife and I am with my husband. The enablers. DH's mom is constantly giving SD money. SD calls whens she needs money and claims she will come help around the house. She'll get the money and never show back up to do the work. Yet grandma keeps on giving. He said we need to let her fend for herself and stop enabling her (which I don't, it's only DH & his mom). He said she needs to want to change for herself and she won't as long a

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18 year old Alcoholic

I know teens are going to drink, I get that, I'm not stupid. But SD18 is a full blown alcoholic already.

Car

Back when SD and I had a decent relationship I, yes I talked DH into leasing her a brand new car. This was the worst mistake we could have made. Our rules besides following the laws imposed by the state for teen drivers, was you have one sip of alcohol you call us and we will pick you up and 2. NO SMOKING. Her exact words were I don't even know anyone that smokes, that's gross. Come to find out SD smokes herself. When her car smelled of smoke I questionned her. She came up with some story of why the car smelling like smoke, but of course no one smoked in the car. DH believed her mad

SD Grad Dinner

We went to dinner with immediate family for SD's graduation as we are not having a party b/c I refused to plan one. Earlier in the week DH's mom gave us a check and told us to pay for dinner with that money and whatever was left over to give it to SD. After dinner as the check comes for dinner, DH's mom slips DH her credit card. He said what is this? You already gave me money for dinner. She said no I didn't (winking). So DH goes around the table and says "you gave me $500 and told me to pay for the dinner and what was left over SD gets it" She replied that is your money to do what y

Adding more fuel to the fire

And to add fuel to the fire of receiving that phone call last night, BM sends a "spreadsheet" to DH, something she has kept since they have been divorced of all the fees she has paid for SD. Things such as medical bills, prescriptions, cell phone bill, school fees etc and they split the bills equally. They always have, it's in their CO. SD is on BM's health insurance in December we set up an automatic withdraw from our checking account to send X amount to BM for SD health insurance. On that spreadsheet she noted that we are shorting her $2.08/month. Seriously are you that freaking pett

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And the Mess Continues

So last night, the day before high school graduation DH gets a phone call from the school that says "since your daughter failed her college plus courses you have to pay for them or she can not graduate" SD had started taking college courses her junior year. She could have graduated but she stated why graduate now when I can get college for free if I stay in high school. So she stayed in high school, she moved out of the house and decided to quit going to school and failed all her college courses. The agreement is that as long as you get a passing grade the college courses are free. SD

Fired Again

SD got a new job and DH was super excited because it was a "real" job and may lead to a career. She was a receptionist rather than her previous server/hostess positions. This was her quickest job to date. She lasted less than 2 weeks before being fired for calling off/being a no show. In the last 2 years she's been fired from 8 jobs! 8 jobs in 2 years!

Graduation

So we decided not to have a grad party for SD. DH & BM decided we would each just give her the cash we would spend on a party instead of having a party. I told DH I wasn't comfortable giving her straight up cash as it would be spent for tattoos, beer, cigarettes and drugs and when she needs something she won't have the money for it and will be looking to borrow money. DH also wants for US to give her $500 cash. I feel like that's a nice chunk of change for someone who doesn't deserve it. I'm tired of arguing with my DH over her and I feel like I should just give in and give her the

Failing Senior Year

So this morning as DH was loading up his car for work he allowed BD to play on his phone. As she's playing with his phone he gets a text message from SD that reads "Please hurry up and call the school and request mom's name be removed from my account. I failed every class this year and I don't want her to see it." BD used to be a good student she was smart and up until she turned 16 and got into the wrong crowd she did well in school. She only needed 1 class to graduate and she did that 1st semester. So this semester she did NOTHING! And now she wants us to throw her a grad party for

SD Graduation

So SD graduates in a few days....We haven't spoken in months. I've completely disengaged from her. DH and I don't even talk about her anymore b/c it just leads to an arguement. So on Saturday she had prom, DH went to see her and take pictures with her. He comes home and tells me "I talked to BM and we need to come up with some dates for a grad party for SD." He said "BM agreed to split the cost of the party with us." I didn't say anything. He then went on to say "BM told me that even though SD didnt' turn out the way she had intended nor graduated like I hoped she would and is not goi

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