Just had to chuckle to myself
I haven't posted in a few months ... just busy and basically just fed up with trying to NOT think about the BS that bothers me and not let it get to me ... all those things I'm told to do but find so hard ... sometimes I think it's all not worth my energy or breath to type or say or think about it ... ANYWAY, I've lost about 25 pounds in the past few months ... dropped a pant size and little more (not quite 2 yet!). A few weeks ago, SO said to me, "I know what happened to that weight you lost ... my ex-wife must have found it." HA! AWESOME!
We celebrated Thanksgiving a day early (due to miscommunication - or lack of communication - on SO's family's part) so even though it was his holiday to have SDs, we were able to give them to BM a day early since she didn't even know if it was her holiday or not and had to text SO a few weeks ago to ask him (GRRRR!). I guess she was hosting it and having a ton of family SDs rarely get to see and they didn't want to miss out, but also didn't want to hurt SO's family by missing T'giving with them ... it was a mess ... and it stressed me out more than it should have! Anyway, I made several desserts and since we weren't going to have SDs for 3 days, I knew SO & I wouldn't eat the leftovers nor did I NEED them!!! I packaged them up and sent them all with SDs and said, "I know your mom is having a ton of people for T'giving dinner, so you make sure these get eaten up. They won't be eaten at our house and I'd hate for them all to go to waste." Later that night (of course after like 11pm!), BM sends a text to SO that says, "Tell 'Can I' that I said thanks for the treats." First I was kinda pissed --- she has my number! Why does she need to send thanks to me through him!?! Then I was kinda pissed that here it's been FOUR G*d D**N years and I am JUST NOW getting a f***ing thank you for something I did?! After all these years of being bashed by her and not once ever being recognized for what I have done?! And THEN I just had to chuckle to myself ... because I will admit when I sent the treats with SDs I was recalling how SO had told me BM was getting heavier and maybe she'll eat my desserts and put on some more weight! HAHAHAHAHA (insert evil laugh here!!!!)
That felt good to just get out of my head!
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What I've learnt in the past
What I've learnt in the past when BM is overly nice or thanking me for something is it's all for show so of course she goes through partner just in case I don't tell him and its all gone to waste. I think she likes to prove she's mature and not bothered by us anymore. She's got my facebook though and the kids have my number of which she could get off them of she needed it but it's always been through partner, so when SD lost a mobile I let her borrow, BM called partner to apologise on SD's behalf. Not me ,the one who the phone belonged to. Same as when I've babysat in the past ,or organised her kids (not partners) pressies when she knows for a fact it was me as partner would quite happily give presents in a bin bag if he could get away with it.
However, it may also be a case of she doesn't know.what your response is going to be ,especially if she's been a bit of a Dick in the past, and doesn't want the humiliation of it being chucked back in her face.