So my weekend was irritating beyond belief. First of all if you have read any of my blogs you will know my frustrations with SO and ALWAYS having to do HIS family things over mine.... which leads me to my first irritation. My son who is 13 lost a friend last week in a horrible automobile accident. The accident claimed 5 lives. We live in a VERY small community. Everybody knows everybody here. Last week was awful.

I went home last night and brought up my feelings about SD17. And I brought up all of them. SO confided in me that he worries all day about if I will leave him. He sits in his truck and asks himself why do I stay? Why am I in this. What is my last straw? What will SD do that will put me over the edge when she is here. He told me he gets physically sick thinking about the fact that I very well could kick him and his kids out the door. He asked me why do I stay? When without him and his BM drama I have no drama in my life.

The last time SO got to see SD17 was for breakfast at his mom's house in March. She had been with BM at a motel and had been swimming. She left her VS swimsuit in SO car. So I popped it in the mail ONLY because I knew she would use it as an excuse to get a new $100 suit.

We have been trying to contact BOTH BM's since Monday regarding our TIME this weekend. It is our weekend for BOTH sets of kids. We didn't hear back from BM #1 until today. She just can't AFFORD the gas to drive half way because of and extensive party she has planned for SS11's upcoming birthday AND because of the very expensive present she bought SS14 for 8th grade graduation and because she gets SO LITTLE in CS (1000 a month) she just can't afford the gas to bring the kids half way. She moved 6 hours away 2 years ago and the deal was that they would meet half way on OUR scheduled days.