Christmas misery
My 18 year old stepson has kept to the fortnightly visits but if he misses one, he will double up. He has a pull out bed in the living room as we only have 2 bedrooms. It's not ideal but I didn't think the visits would carry on this long. He has a new girlfriend and bought her here Christmas Day without giving us proper notice. They proceeded to have their dinner and go to bed at 3pm. No Thankyou for the gifts or the meal. No help offered to clear up or to tell us their going to bed. My husband will not disapline his son for anything. He comes here and does what he wants. I was looking forward to using our new karaoke machine but was told not too as they were sleeping. My son, husband and myself went to bed at 11pm long day, I was very tired after cooking and waiting on people all day. They preceded to get up and start making food banging around in the kitchen, tv on full blast so none of us can sleep. I asked my husband and he said let them have some fun!! I was not amused anc went downstairs and asked them to be quiet or go to bed. My stepson said, you can't tell me what to do. I'll go to bed when I want.
the stepson then went to his nans and told the family I'd shouted at them so they are all against me, even my husband. I've put up with his attitude since he was 4, it's never really changed. His girlfriend even made snide remarks about her meal. Is it me or am I right for shouting at them? It's ruined all of our Christmas now?!
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Comments
Get rid of the pull out bed
Get rid of the pull out bed couch IMMEDIATELY
I learned a long time ago that with these kind of ppl (or "children" if you can call it that) you have to make it uncomfortable. This means downgrade to a small couch, reduce tv service, get a bad wifi connection. Also when he comes around, make sure the fridge is completely EMPTY. No food to make or snack on.
Eventually, they will start going to their Nans to mooch off and sleep off there.
If they want to sleep at 3pm, make sure to make a lot of noise and when they ask u to be quiet, tell them that you cant tell them what to do.
I disabled the wifi in our home and my SS had a full meltdown and went to his moms immediately.
You have to play their own game
Great tactics for displacing toxic.
Turn off the wifi before they arrive. IF you have SmartHouse, you can also turn off the cable. Or just remove the cable from the box.
Give htem a palette on a hard floor for sleeping. And go to bed and get up at your normal times. They want to eat, they eat when everyone else eats and set the demand that when there are non resident visiting SKids/Kids/family/etc. they clean up. The cook never cleans unless they are home alone.
Period. Dot.
It worked for me! Personally,
It worked for me! Personally, i dont have a smart home but if I did i would turn off all electronics. I went as far as taking away the playstation which they stole later on and made sure to carve the word "fk you bitch" on it lol right before they packed all their stuff in a trash bag and left.
I put stickers on the console and donated it to children in need for xmas. Electronics and wifi turned off are a game changer and will make them leave immediately.
That and having to share a small mattress in a small room haha
No sense in asking ppl to leave, you have to displace them by force....kind of like pests and rodents....they wont leave unless there is no food or dirt to enjoy!
Its your home
Its your home, so you can tell him what to do or he can choose to leave. He needs to show a little respect. His dad should be backing you up. Last time I checked, the kids don't pay the mortgage, so its not up to them what happens under your roof.
Game on!!! Bare his idiot toxic rude ass and include your idiot
husband in the eternal shallow and polluted gene pool ass baring. Web cams and security system so when you have to bare his ass and he runs to the splash among the floating turds in the nasty genetic cesspool he is so ingrained in you can play the footage with the facts rather than letting this Skidiot get his way in presenting his perspective rather than the unadulterated facts.
Crush their idiot skulls with the facts and let them walk around with their bared ass butt cheeks dragging on the floor.
smh
This dumbass Skid sleeps in your living room. They sleep when you say they sleep and they get up when you say they get up. He, his GF and his catering coddling daddy can F-off.
IMHO.
Sadly
You have a very long standing DH problem. You will have to engage in guerilla warfare as the others have suggested but ultimately your DH has set the precedent and is responsible for his now grown feral. Hope he is prepared for grandchildren due to his house with no rules.
10 plus years of this?
Well some great advice here...
Thanks all, brilliant advice
Thanks all, brilliant advice and comments! I've worked out how to turn off the internet when we go to bed, so that's sorted. When he left, they purposely left the gate open so my dog escaped, lucky we live in a quiet area. My husband realised that we could have lost our dog who we all love so much. I've told my husband they are not welcome to stay anymore, he wasn't happy but has finally accepted it. There is no internet at the nans which is why they come here. If he wants to see his son, he will meet him at his nans!!
I pretty much told my husband it's the final straw. His son is an adult now and there's no need to have him sleep over. He only lives an hours drive away. His mother tries to make them come over as much as possible so she can have a break!! I'm waiting for the backlash from her as she's always been a nightmare when things don't go her way. I had to block her on all social media, it was awful.