What should I do?
I'm a newly married stepmom. We have been married for a few months now, but have dated for years. My husband's former spouse who he shares a child with has always been mentally unstable. She and her former husband (now deceased) have threatened myself and my husband numerous times with physical violence. We simply ignored it and refused to partake in the immature bickering. However it is becoming worse and worse. She began making threats of physical violence towards me last night during drop off such as "I'm going to beat your a**" and "I will drag you out of your car" because I refuse to fight her. I will no longer have any contact with her including pick up/drop off situations in the future. I only went before because my husband is required to meet with her at the police station with a witness for pick up/ drop off. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? We of course wish to have absolutely no contact with her but my husbands hands are tied since they do still share a child. Is it possible to have a representative that can be the mediator? Should I document this myself or file a police report? I don't want to be extreme but I don't trust her and would not put it past her to show up at our home. Also should mention the comments she is making are in front of the child which makes matters worse and is totally unfair to the child to have to experience. The whole situation is giving my husband and I as well as the child I'm sure severe anxiety.
Edit to mention the threats began this time because I asked her to stop cursing at my husband and I.
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I would say it's long past
I would say it's long past time that you both get a restraining order against BM. You don't say how old the child is, but if he/she is old enough to walk on their own from one car to the other with no contact, that's what needs to happen.
So if drop offs and pick ups occur at police station
Is dumbass bio mum dragging your arse out of your car in police station carpark or go psycho on you inside police station where the exchange happens?? Because i'd be tempted to say, "do it, it'll be a lovely sight seeing all those police officer jump you and drag you away in handcuffs in front of your kid, totally mother of the year material".
is exchanging happening in police station carpark or in police station? Because if its carpark now, i'd be having courts agree that it happens inside police station unless your partner puts in writing or email that exchange is done inside police station due to her "threatening harm onto you" behaviour
This would also get you off
This would also get you off the hook for being the witness. Doing an exchange at a police station guarantees you a ton of witnesses and a video recording to boot.
Yes this is at the police
Yes this is at the police station. We do exchanges on Sunday evenings so there normally isn't any police present and the inside is closed down on Sundays. We are looking into switching the day of pickup. Possibly having no contact by doing drop off/ pick up through the school since she's finally school aged as of this year. Ex: one drops off on Monday morning, the other picks up and keeps for a week and then switch. Just wondering what we could do on holidays & summer break. We are definitely going to make sure any interactions are backed up through video, audio records, texts, etc.
How is the police station
How is the police station closed down on Sundays?
Anyway, change it to a McDonald's parking lot or something open at the exchange time. Also, record her (carefully - my DH got in trouble for doing that), like with a dashcam or something that doesn't involve one of you holding the phone.
And please, go get a restraining order. This woman is off the chain.
Record it. Get a dash camera
Record it. Get a dash camera and have it recording from the time you pull up to the time your driving out. All you need is ONE video of her threatening yall like that at the police station and yall can get her for harrassment, threatening, intimidation WHATEVER you can so you can go back to court and ask for a modification to the order asking for third party exchanges.