Hello all. I have been a lurker here for a good year. Step mom, kinda, for 2, but only on weekends. 

I have a weird situation, one I wish I would have not influenced to be this way. My FH has 2 kids, ss4 and sd6. His BM cheated on him, kicked him out, and kept the kids from him for roughly a year. They were 1&3 I believe. I met him years later, when he got a day and a half, if that, a week. 

So last year in may, BM said she was moving cities because of her abusive husband (the one she cheated on FH with) and my FH would have the drive an hour out and back to get them. He was stressed and freaking out, cause the part of the city is terrible. Bad schools, bad neighborhoods, etc. He asked if he should get a lawyer, I said yes. 

Every other time in court, he got screwed over.was paying 1k a month in CS, even though he didn't make as much as he did when the order was made, he was paying for her love child, and couldn't afford to live himself. So the lawyer made it so if she left, he got the kids and she got them 1.5 days a week.

She ended up staying until Halloween, and called him 7am to come get them cause she was leaving. I work part time, because I'm disabled. Guess who had to take care of them? He spent >5 hrs a day with them when he got off work. I had to get them up, fed, one off to school, pick her up, deal with his son all day, who is a monster. An absolute monster. But I'll make another blog later about that.

So we've had them full time 3 months. I am exhausted. They gang up on my son, destroy my house, don't have manners, the boy gets up every other night and sits crying in his room or bathroom cause he pissed himself, his leg itches, his blanket fell off the bed, etc etc. And my room is right next to theirs. He is across the living room (he moved in with me last summer, I have too much crap to have had him move in my room). So I have to wake up to deal with it. I wake him up as well, but damn.

I was sick literally all November SD6 had a weird cold and gave it to me. Then I had a stomach bug that was going around BS8 school. Then the rest was a stress induced illness. I was feeling a bit better, bit still had stomach pains up till Christmas. She had them 4 days, brought them to FH parents house cause we were at a Christmas party. She had the NERVE to ask to use the bathroom, he stupidly let her in and she made it weird as hell. I felt so disrespected. I told him later how I felt, he got upset. 

So I've been cooking for him and his kids, cleaning, listening to their BS at night, putting up with them causing trouble for my son, breaking my stuff, making my house a mess (marking on walls, carpet, getting mystery blood on my couch, etc) but they reached an agreement and he gets them every other week. I deeply, deeply Regret telling him to get a lawyer. It has affected my relationship with my son because now I have to spend more time taking care of his kids and not being able to leave with them cause he only has 2 car seats, wasting MY weekends off with BS8, my relationship with FH, cause now we're both always stressed and I'm angry, sad, hurt, in last place, a maid, mom, cook, referee, etc for his kids, my work performance has suffered because I'm always stressed and tired from waking up all night to crying, I'm unhappy. I'm really, very unhappy. I'm so glad when they leave, bit I get sick thinking about them coming back.

I wish still he only had them once a week again. I regret helping. I regret letting them move in, I regret all of it. I am seriously considering breaking up with FH, because of his kids. I love him to death, but I can not be this unhappy for years to come. I needed to rant, and I've read similar stories. But please, someone say something to me, cause I feel like a monster.