Parental Alienation

I got this from a friend of mine. Vile, hideous, heartbreaking.

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Wow, that's an interesting

Wow, that's an interesting site. They got sole custody of the two kids at age 14 and 16, and the kids left for a summer visit at 16 and 18 and never returned. They told all kinds of lies about the father, and he walked into court and told court he was giving up custody and never wanted to see the kids again.

Yikes. My DH stopped fighting, but he didn't stop trying to reach out to him.

After all they went through,

After all they went through, I get it. This is SEVERE PAS. Omg, the oldest daughter took the witness stand WITH A NEW NAME?? Telling the kids they were breastfed when the dad has pics that they were bottle babies. Burn rituals of anything associated with the Dad. Countless lies, a ton of false abuse charges... That beeyotch BM is a psychotic POS who cares more about herself than her children. Custody of the youngest two only for them to leave for "visitation", never come back, and, once AGAIN, slap them with false abuse charges.

I get the instinct - and I

I get the instinct - and I personally don't have anything to do with SS right now, so as far as I'm concerned, the SM is off the hook. But Dad didn't have to slam the door in their faces. Obviously this woman was impossible to deal with for them.

My SS lied his face off about DH too, at every chance he got. These kids are like cult members.

Replying to myself to add - I

Replying to myself to add - I read something meant for alienated parents: "The kids didn't choose this parent (the alienator), you chose this parent for them", which really changed my perspective. This guy chose to have THREE kids with this crazy woman. He needs to own his part in that and not just blame the kids for not being able to deal with the pressure she puts on them.

He doesn't have to allow them to abuse him, but he doesn't have to cut them off, either.

IMO.

Some of these women don't

Some of these women don't ramp up the crazy until after the split. I think it was all of the false abuse allegations. The kids claimed to ge happy for 2 years, went for a visitation, and slammed them with more charges.

I agree with this

I’ve had that conversation with hubby how could he knowing how exwife was weeks before their wedding marry her, week after marrying her, month, years still think he could still be married to her and then think after having a child she’d change, then it became 3 then 3 before his head came out of the sand and reality hit that this woman shouldn’t be a wife or a mum...

my sd have told their dad they know their mum lied but get over it... typical narcissistic behaviour where they justify mums behaviour and blame dad for everything, there is no accountability she is responsible for her actions and inaction that left hubby with no option but to divorce...

i have told my hubby he needs to own up to his part allowing his marriage to continue for 14 yrs like this when he should have realised he was dumb to get her pregnant 3 times... i get his frustration at their behaviour, attitude and disrespect and wants to just move overseas when they’re all adults to escape their toxicity but he helped enable/create that toxicity, he can’t just run away. He needs to show and tell them that their toxicity is no longer acceptable/tolerable in his life

I think he decided to close

I think he decided to close the door to avoid more false accusations and heartbreak. He fought for years. I cannot begin to imagine the toll that took and how broken you would feel after fighting so hard, only for the brainwashing to prevail.

Believe me, I totally get it.

Believe me, I totally get it. My SS PAS'd out after telling us he wanted to live with us and DH filing for a custody change - only to have SS lie to the judge and say DH was pressuring him to live with us and trying to alienate him. It was a freaking nightmare. And DH gave up the fight after that - but he still loves his son, as this dad still loves his kids, and it makes no sense to slam the door and lock it. Just do what you have to do to protect yourself.

It sounds like that's what he

It sounds like that's what he IS doing. Protecting himself from more false abuse charges. He hasn't changed HIS name, so the kids know how to find him if they ever get un-brainwashed.

I'm only talking about him

I'm only talking about him saying to the girl that he never wanted to see her again. The rest, no problem.

It is a very extreme case, so sad.

Honestly, I think something

Honestly, I think something in him just broke. Maybe he doesn't have it in him to try any more. I've been there, so I can relate.

Completely agree. I

Completely agree. I understand giving up but could never picture saying I'm front of the kids that we want nothing to do with them. That only helps BMs agenda. I think that if they ever started thinking that BMs thinking was wrong it may keep them from wanting to turn things around knowing that their father didn't want to see them.

I didn't get the impression

I didn't get the impression from what I read that dad told the kids he never wanted to see them again. I was thinking dad's lawyer told mom's lawyer that dad did not want any visitation. Hard to know. I don't blame him, though. The crazy BM put them through hell with help from the PAS'd kids.

This is a part of one of the

This is a part of one of the blogs

"All of a sudden, something you’d never thought would happen, happened. You were told your father was giving your mother sole custody and had requested to never see you again.

Your mother immediately screamed in anger after hearing how little child support she would be getting. You looked shell-shocked before bursting into tears."

I assume a lawyer said it but it sounds like at least the older daughter was in the room.

Damn sad!!

IT sounds so familiar though

This lady sounds like all the evil GUBM we've read about here consolidated into one. She's bits of North Korea, Pyscho, Methmouth, Biohag all rolled into one!

While BM isn't that much of a

While BM isn't that much of a lunatic, some of the BM tactics and actions of my SDs (esp OSD) are quite similar.

I understand the dad just letting it go, and I agree. I think he should still maintain some email/letter/text connection though. One of my friends lost all three kids to PAS years ago and he's now connected back with two of them, a lot to do with his constantly sending messages.

DH is closer every day to giving up....

You're at a dead end when

You're at a dead end when phone numbers and emails are changed. No way to text/call/email.

This is so sad, my heart

This is so sad, my heart breaks especially for this man. I can’t imagine ever walking away from my own children, but everyone has their breaking point & he must have hit his. 27 charges of abuse, after everything else they’d been through.. it’s heartbreaking.

Monkey, I think that's what

Monkey, I think that's what happened. Something in him broke and he simply hasn't any fight left.

I read all the blogs on the

I read all the blogs on the site and although BM is not as crazy I recognize many of the tactics used. The one where she read SDs diary and going that although she did so much that SD secretly hated her and that it was so fake hit home the most. SD16 always seems/acts like she's having a good time but then tells people we make her do things she hates when BM or her aunt ask.

I’m surprised that more

I’m surprised that more alienated parents don’t do this. Especially when the children are basically grown. You know there isn’t a prayer that those kids will ever be anything but pathetic failures.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Sometimes you just have to drop the rope.

Yes, and it sounds like that

Yes, and it sounds like that's what he felt he had to do. All they'd done for the kids, but they were saturated with BM's poison.

It's harder to eliminate toxic people from your life when they're family.

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