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I feel lyke a cant be a stepparent...now that its to late! What do i do?

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i feel like i cant put up with being a stepparent and ive barely started! i dont lyke the fact of having a child that's not mine coming over so i have to always be nice and go out of my way, She's not my daughter she's my H and BM daughter...i feel lyke ill always be the other woman, my SD is only 3yo and ive only met her once and right after that my H had a DNA test done cuz he never had one done for her and she come out his!