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DH is unbelievable...

3bk1sd's picture

Ok, so wednesday at 6pm is SD's counselling session. BM told dh he had to go and then he told me that he thought I needed to be there. Actually he said, if we get there and you can't come into the session, I will tell them that I'm not going in without you, we're married and we're in this together. It sounded so good, but guess what.... Now that it is only a few days away he's starting to get nervous. He's worried that BM might get angery that he brought me. He thinks he should go alone now! I said "don't you remember that YOU said we were doing it together or not at all?" His response was "ok, we'll do it your way then". WTF, that was your way DH, you are the one that called and told me to get a sitter and that you weren't going without me. What, just because BM will get her panties in a knot is a reason to leave me home? I guess I'm still going but he makes it seem like it's all my idea and I think when we get there he won't have the balls to say that we're a team and it's both or none. It should be very interesting...

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kit2kat00's picture

my BF used to do that with BM (his ex) - wouldn't invite me to BD19's things BM would be attending (field hockey games, band concerts, etc) just to avoid the drama. if I have to be an adult, how about we all be adults, huh??! sheesh!

3bk1sd's picture

He knows I am on this site, I often fill him in on posts. I just really hate that he says the right things but he doesn't act on them. So in other words, he knows the right thing to do but he hasn't yet grown the balls to actually follow through on it. Honestly BM's opinion matters more to him than mine, I guess because she's bigger and meaner :?

Editted to add, BM is not his ex-wife. I am his first and only wife. She is someone he dated for 4 months before figuring out that she was "nasty and lazy" to quote DH.

3bk1sd's picture

Youngwife2, I too am confused :? We met with CPS (I had reported BM as being neglectful and SD needs to get some help, both mentally and physically)DH is not on the birth certificate and can't pick SD up from school to take her to the doctors. ANyway the main finding of CPS was that SD was very angry and that she would be put into mandatory counselling, it also came up that the hatred between BM and DH was not helping. BM called DH and told him that the first counselling session is on wednesday and that he "has" to go. He said ok, obviously because we want SD to get any help possible. He then called me and said that he wasn't going without me. BM has a long list of accusations about what we've (mostly me) have done or said to SD. They are all either lies or only part of the story and dh thought we should both go in order to effectively defend ourselves and show that we are not in fact as terrible as we're made out to be. Also he thought it would be good to show that we're "united" and than no matter what crap she throws our way we are married and are a team.

3bk1sd's picture

Well, ufortunately I am "running the show". He takes no initiative at all. At the CPS meeting he just kept looking at me to answer the questions. He's a bit lazy and likes to leave everything to me. I wish he was more of a "take charge" kind of person but he's
not. I do fortunately act like a lady and know how to conduct myself in public. I will not even speak to BM (other than hello, if it seems like it won't make her holler) until we're inside. I have a very high tolerance for bs which is a good quality, lol. BM can yell and act like a fool but it will only serve to show these people what she is really like.

3bk1sd's picture

I sort of see your point except that the anger is directed mostly at me. Also I am not DH's girlfriend, I am his wife and we believe that we must put our marriage first in all things. This includes dealing with angry ex's and SD's counselling.

3bk1sd's picture

I will call them. I have already talked to one of the counsellors there. He is our marriage counsellor! Anyway, he would say that DH and I need to present a united front. He has said that many times in the past about such issues.