Hello!
I figured I would just write because I'm irritated, at loss, the whole house is turned upside down. Its chaos.
Im confused.
DH son was moved out of state, a couple years ago. Its always been a hassle to get him to visit. (His mother) He is up for the summer. Here is my problem.

When DH (his dad) is around, or anybody from his family (gram, aunt, uncle, etc) he is as sweet as pie to my children 2 and 6. However when we are alone, he is moody, and mean.

I try to talk to him about it when we are alone but all he says is I am angry, and I don't know how to deal with it. His parents have been broken up for 12 years. He is 13.
He is sneaky, he will think I am somewhere, and he will be going through our room, I don't know what he is searching for, but I dont say anything. He says things to my kids that are uncalled for, I was in the other room and I heard him whispering to my daughter I am going to kill you, she started crying. I went in there knowing what he said, and asked. My daughter told me, and he denied it.

He intimidates me, like if i try to go by him he will push into me like a football player goes in for a tackle. 9He is very big for his age. Taller than me by 7 inches! Weighs about 200.

I'll come out of the bathroom and he will be waiting there in the dark. Also we cant have sex when he is here because he goes to the door and listens. Its all just so awkward.

I was upstairs putting clothes away, and my youngest came running upstairs crying hysterically, saying he hurt me. I don't know what he did, as all she would say was he hit me, but was frightened. The SS came up and said I just told him to not touch the door, but I do not understand how that could initiate a response like that.

I've talked to my DH, who does talk to him. Ive talked to my DH mother, she says he is just confused. Upset about his parents. They have been broken up for so long. He's always had his stepfather in his life. He treats him good. He has 4 other half siblings, and is nice to them. Why does he do this to us? But its like everyone is "the prodigal son is back" he does no wrong.

Im tired, feel like I should move out for the next 2 months. DH is on vacation starting tomorrow, so he will be home for 3 weeks, so maybe it will change. Another thing is, he expects everything, and to do fun things that cost money everyday. If we dont, thats another issue. We aren't poor, we get by, but these extras that he expects and gets its going to be not only an emotionally draining, but financially draining month. If he was at home with his mother, he wouldn't be doing ANYTHING, but taking care of his siblings bc his mother is too lazy. (It is the truth)

I am affectionate with my children and DH, even when DH is around SS will come up to me and hug me, or sit with me. We all are a happy family, except when DH goes to work, or somewhere. Its like Im around a totally different person, and Im worried about my kids. I dont want him saying nasty things to them or hurting them. Please any input!