SD wants to bring BM's incontinent cat over to visit
SD16 called DH the other night and amid all the chaos of SD18 babysitting DH's toddler nephew at our house this week, SD16 wants to bring a cat from Biomom's to our house to show DH's nephew.
We have a shy cat that takes awhile to get used to people, so she is in hiding in our bedroom because nephew likes to chase her. He is a good kid, but just at that age where we are teaching him that loving animals means respecting their space when they need it. Sooo, I put food and water and her extra litterbox in our room, so she doesn't have to starve while hiding out. That can be her sanctuary and nephew is not allowed in our bedroom without one of us inviting him.
SD16 says to DH "Why can't I bring BM"s cat over? What's the big problem?!"
I remind DH and he reminds her "BM's cat has a peeing on furniture problem and we just got a new sectional.. Our cat hates other cats so she will pee in protest of any other cats in our house. So NO. You may NOT bring your mom's cat over to visit."
SD16 whined and got angry but she listened. Oh my goodness. When does the stupidity end? Cats usually don't like road trips - duh. You can keep your cat's disfunction over at your mom's house - which smells like cat pee, by the way.
How effin' ignorant. Cats
How effin' ignorant. Cats attach to a home. You can't just cart them from A to B without a good reason. Tell this ignoramus that you will not make the cat stress or be unhappy just because she can't comprehend the fact that the cat isn't a toy.
Chances are that the cat is peeing everywhere because of her...
Empathy opportunity.
I get that the short version is No, the cat will cause damage. But I wish someone would explain that this is not a kind or loving thing to do to the cat, and why. Your SD is most likely too old to be taught empathy, but it's worth a try and never hurts to model empathetic behavior, especially towards animals.
I mean...with a normal person
I mean...with a normal person this might be a good idea...but........probably wasted breath here.
Hi ExJulie
Hi ExJulie - As an animal lover myself, I agree that it would be nice if the SD's understood why this is not the best thing for their cat. However, I have tried this when they were younger. They helped me foster a litter of orphaned kittens for the Humane Society. I bought them a hamster and I cared for him and cleaned his cage when they were away for long periods of time, and insisted they clean his cage when they were at our house. We had a cat and a dog at that time. They were not cruel but they also didn't seem to get that the animal had desires and needs apart from what they wanted from it. I tried to explain this but the negative reinforcement of their BM treating animals as if they are disposable, and an inconvenience - was too much to fight against.
I had to resort to just enforcing the rules at my house and yelling at them when they incessantly bother my cat because they want to hold her. I put an end to that, but they just never learned the main lesson - which is BE KIND.
That poor cat
Is probably peeing because of stress from them treating it like a dog. You don't just 'bring your cat' to visit somewhere. I hate it when SK's have pets.
Caninelover - I agree
I agree Caninelover, my SD's will literally take the cat at their BM's house to the beach - 2.5 hour car ride each way - in a pet backpack. Then put him on a leash and walk him next to the ocean. Lucky for them, he is mellow and doesn't try to claw their faces off, but I don't wonder why he pees on BM's couch every chance he gets.
My DS and his partner have a leash trained cat.
They take that cat everywhere.
Sometimes the Skid stupidity is mind numbing.
Empathy or not, no one can fix stupid.
Dumb may be salvageable but stupid is a lost cause.
My one cat travels between 3
My one cat travels between 3 houses and loves it. There are cats that like to travel. But I would not allow an incontinent cat in my home.
The cat could be "incontinent
The cat could be "incontinent" because the litter box is dirty or it does not feel safe (a friend's dog would chase Kitty as soon as he exited the litter box). It could also be a medical issue.
Regardless, the answer is NO. SD doesn't have to like it, but that's life.
Sd16 needs to be educated on how territorial cats
Are and that its not a few mins process to adjust. It takes days, weeks even months depending on temperaments of the cats.
cats aren't like dogs who sit in the back seat looking at the window etc.
bio mums cat is bio mums cat to deal with in her home and a member of biomums household not yours. If sd wants to show off cat, take a video on a smartphone and show it like normal people or upload video to Facebook or instagram etc
No
No. Just no...the kid can deal.
Visiting with pets?
WTF? What makes anyone imagine Fido or Whiskers would be interested in visiting? Or would be a welcome visitor?
DD brought her dog to a barbecue at my house. I was dumb enough to tolerate it until I noticed the mutt had dug up half my flower beds. Mutt spent the rest of the visit in DD's car and I now put anyone who visits wth a pet in the same category as that bonehead who took his emotional support peacock on a plane. Can you imagine the state of the aisles when that flight was over?
Apologies to those who rely on emotional support from peacocks.