Okay, so I have a SD who is 16 and a SS who is almost 14. I have been in both of their lives since they were about 10 and 7 respectively.

So I would say we have a decent overall relationship. I have posted about them before in another thread so I won't go into all of it again. Bottom line is that they both disrespect where I grew up, my values, etc -- and to keep the peace I bite my toungue, looking forward to the day that they will be out on their own.

Anyway, the latest thing that has really been bugging me is this:

My wife has three guy friends she has known for a long time. One of these friends was a part of my SD's life when she was small, but since she has moved here (in 2006) she has only seen this friend in the couple of times he has visited. They never talk on the phone or communicate otherwise. She never even met the other two of these men until moving here, and has spent very small amounts of time with them. All three of the men live in different states and visit maybe once a year or so.

Up until recently my SD would call these men "uncles" which was fine. None are really her uncle, but whatever, I know that's a pretty common thing. What got under my skin was when I started seeing a lot of Facebook and Twitter postings about these guys being her "dads" also. I was included in that group as one of her dads, but when I started to really think about it, it did bug me.

I mean here are three guys that have maybe spent a total of a couple of weeks total with my SD in the last 6 years. I really don't feel like any are particularly close with her either. They never communicate unless they are actually visiting. I mean, I'm the one that gives her rides to friend's houses and everywhere else she needs. I'm the one that spends tons of my hard-earned money on food, clothing, supplies, gas and whatever else she needs. I'm the one that's there when she is upset about the latest breakup or conflict with friends. I'm the one that will be helping her with college expenses. I'm the one that has to deal with all her teenage drama and hearing how much she hates living here and can't wait to move far away. Yet, I guess I am on the same level to her as these guys that she barely knows.

I suppose it could be worse, I could be the "hated stepparent" and not even fit into the "dad" category. Yet, to me it just kind of puts it into perspective. We will likely never have a relationship like a bio father/daughter would have. It's almost like those situations you hear about where someone is adopted and raised by someone, and when they get to be a teenager they find their bio parent and establish a relationship with them, and think it's so great ... meanwhile the real parents that actually raised the child wonder if he/she will ever realize that the bio-parent was never there for them their whole life but all is just forgiven.

What do you guys think? Am I overreacting by being upset over this?