I know, I know, self absorbed is not unique to step children. My bio's (19D/14/S) need a get a grip reminder now and again as well but my SD15 just doesn't seem to get it. My eldest is home for the summer break from college and the additional housework necessary to keep this place decent is now becoming onerous and tedious. It's not that she's a slob, it's just that she also has a few bad habits and now im getting pissy.. Anyway, I am now planning the good ole come to Jesus meeting with them all about "hey thanks for putting your dish in the sink and all but who are you expecting to rinse it off and actually put it in the dishwasher thats two inches away"? Meeting. And how about the counter next to the sink w the open bag of bread, half wasted soda, and, hey, aren't those your shoes in the middle of the floor.? So you all, I'm sure, get what I am saying.

The SD portion of this rant is twofold. For one thing, she is typically the most obvious mess leaver. Secondly, she doesn't seem to genuinely appreciate the myriad of things we do as parents to make her happy. At least w my bio's the thank you's are sincere. My bio's also have moments of clarity that enables them to see me as a human being they care about and do things to randomly please me (for instance, BD19 recently nicely cleaned first floor AND made dinner to surprise me). My BS14 brought me back a present from his class trip and was so excited to have me open it. I mean, yea theyre sloppy but damn, at least i feel genuine love and gratitude from them. SD never thinks of anyone outside her little circle of friends. Father's day is coming and if I dont remind her, he BD wont hear a word. If i do take her to get a little card or something it will turn into her thinking of what he'd might like for about 10 seconds. The majority of her effort will be devoted w what she needs or wants while were there.

I like the kid for the most part but damn, I do a lot of little things, some big, to bring her some joy. Her father does the same. Think maybe she could pull her head out of her %€€ occassionally and realize the difference between being entitled to something and your getting it cuz we adults choose to allow you to have it? She often says the minimal right words of appreciation for the obvious (nvr for the mundane daily tasks we do) but even then, its fake.

Finally, the reason i started this tantrum is because once I set these kids straight, she'll be the first one to "oh I forgot" me. Also I feel kinda resentful because I have to be so damn fair and I dont want to be. I really just wanna tell my two to "cmon man, help your momma out" and tell her to stop expecting me to provide every service and fulfill every need that a loving mother normally does to a child who does not love her nor even care enough about her to do one thing beyond the barest minimum required. Thats why im pissed. I dont mind cleaning up after mine (sometimes i snap like anyone). I like doing for mine. They love me. Im their mom. Thats my reward. Im not hers, she doesnt and there ya go.