At the end of my rope
HI there.. I'm seriously considering going to talk to a professional about this but any advice prior would sure be appreciated.. I've been with my fiancé for almost four years. I moved him and his son into my home.. He has full custody of his son. His son turned 18 in December.. In November he broke into someone's home in the middle of the night, looking for some young man he had a bone to pick with, turns out was the wrong house.. He damaged two vehicles with a baseball bat., and an older couple was sleeping.. And he smashed their family photos off the walls and when they woke up and saw him.. He fled.. He's currently awaiting court and sentencing. Anyways, he quit school two weeks ago, (grade eleven) and refuses to get a job.. Two nights ago he called my 14 year old daughter at two am begging her for money for his drug dealer. We searched his room and found marijuana and cocaine.. He's known to do drugs drink and be out all hours. . We kicked him out two nights ago.. He says the drugs aren't his.. Of course. My fiance believes him but I don't.. I have a 14 year Old daughter to worry about, and I realize this is his son but am I wrong to say I don't want him back here... I feel terrible and I do love this kid.. Always have.. But I'm also becoming fearful of him. 
He also has another son who's 17 who lives with his mom... The son that lives with us is actually the good. Kid lol
This is one of those times
This is one of those times where you tell SO - He has every right & you perfectly understand if he needs to leave with the son, but he cannot stay in your home any longer.
Change your deadbolts to the
Change your deadbolts to the keypad kind. You can always change the code if DH or daughter gave the code to SS.
He's 18 and is in a bad downward spiral. Even if you didn't have a daughter, you and DH don't need drug dealers coming around. Put him in military school or kick him out and he can join the army. They'll straighten him out. I don't know if the military would take you without a HS diploma?
He sounds like a mess. You need to stand up to DH so he can get his ass of a kid in line.
~ Moon
Your job is to protect your
Your job is to protect your daughter ~ your home needs to be her safe haven. That's your job !
Tell him you are not willing to sacrifice your daughters well being for his sons own selfish needs. Everything you said about him scream trouble maker ~ why would you want instability in your life.
Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. Out he goes like the trash he is !!
Don't worry about therapy.
Don't worry about therapy. Testify against this toxic violent POS kid and put his ass in prison for as long as possible. Society will thank you. You need to call the police about SS's drugs and let them add that to his record to maximize his sentence.
I would.
You need every bit of protection possible from your delusional fiancé and his toxic prior relationship spawn. Fiancé believing that the drugs do not belong to the 18yo violent criminal pretty much tells me all I need to know about that useless father, non man, and POS partner. Get he and his spawn the hell out of your house and as far away from your daughter as possible.
Take care or yourself and your daughter.
I would do what Rags said.
I would do what Rags said. Call the cops about the drugs. Then kick both man and son out. Tell your sweetheart it's too bad he couldn't figure out a way to get his son's behavior on track because it has ruined an otherwise good relationship but you absolutely cannot live like this.
The reason you have to kick the man out, too, is that the son will also hover around daddy like a moth to flame. This boy is very bad news. It's only going to get worse. Your daughter is in peril. End that right this minute.
No one is a more devoted auntie than I am but I kicked my own nephew out for much less. He and his Vampira girlfriend managed just fine without me. Thank god he eventually broke up with the girl. But he made his own choices that got him kicked out of my home. Broke my heart, but it helped him grow up.
Until she is 18 your DD is
Until she is 18 your DD is your priority. I wouldn't have moved a 4 years older male teen into my house to begin with- ever. Not one more day. I had too kick my SS(21 at the time) out when I caught him selling pot- can't have that mess near my kids, who were little at the time. Whatever the situation, the kids you gave birth to have to be the ones you advocate for, always. They didn't ask to be born, we chose to have them, so for 18 years we have to , at the very least, keep them SAFE. ps- of course the drugs are his and your BF's denial is super scary to me.