Boyfriend enables and coddles son
I am honestly SICK of it. This has gone on for years. His son is 12 and thinks it is acceptable to talk back. I know this is normal behavior, but my boyfriend lets him for the most part. My SS's hygiene is disgusting and I have to be the bad guy all the time to make him shower/wash his hands/change his clothes.
He leaves trash everywhere (my boyfriend does this too), doesn't shower regularly, doesn't brush his teeth (and when he does, he leaves globs of toothpaste in the sink), doesn't wash his hands, jumps around everywhere on the furniture, and throws fits about stupid things (when we don't want to trade properties with hin in Monopoly, what we watch on TV, etc.)
I got into it with him last night. I removed myself from the situation, but my boyfriend DEFENDED HIM. He kept inserting himself into our conversation. My boyfriend couldn't find his vape pen and his son said that was good. I was annoyed when he whined about not being able to watch ONE movie he suggested and I told him I'm not putting up with it.
The dogs started barking and I told them to be quiet. He turned to me and said "You!" I said, "I am not gonna sit here and be disrespected by a little kid. You need to fix this, *boyfriends name*" He said "Baby" when I lectured his son because he wouldn't, and I just left the room. His son got in no trouble and he has admitted to not disciplining him, because he is scared he won't want to come over anymore.
He thought I was out of line for not playing Uno with them, until SS washed his hands. SS had been eating peas with his fingers and my boyfriend saw no problems with it. I am honestly starting to resent my boyfriend. I am not SS's mother, but I refuse to tolerate disgusting, disrespectful behavior in my own house. It is so peaceful when they both are gone.
My boyfriend tells his son he has to listen to me, but I'm not comfortable with that. I tell my boyfriend when there is an issue, and expect him to deal with it. He makes me out to be the bad guy and says "Tiara247 said you need to do this". It makes me so angry and I think I just need to disengage.
He also checks on him
He also checks on him multiple times a night and his son doesn't even know how to MICROWAVE A BAG OF FUCKING POPCORN. We have been to couples therapy and my boyfriend was diagnosed with NPD. My therapist says he coddles his son as a way to keep control over him.
Girl, leave. You CAN do
Girl, leave. You CAN do better than him... or even just be better without him.
I really am working towards
I really am working towards this, because I am miserable. I have to make myself be intimate with him, and I drink a lot to cope.
“It is so peaceful when they
“It is so peaceful when they both are gone.”
Girl, what is keeping you around? This kid is 12. There’s very low probability that his behavior will change. Your not married to this guy so walk away while you can.
I don't have a job right now.
I don't have a job right now. He doesn't want me to have one, but I refuse to stay dependent on anyone!
Please get a job and some
Please get a job and some independence. There is a reason that he doesn't want you to work and it's not for YOUR benefit or well being.
your boyfriend is a POS
he is filthy and vapes?He is a loser. Dump him.
What could possibly be
What could possibly be keeping you there? NPD is a serious diagnosis and all of this will just get worse as time goes on.
Let me guess, besides all of
Let me guess, besides all of THAT, your BF is amazing!
Seriously, you can do better.
If you are feeling this way now in the best time
in a relationship. How is this going to play out in life. He will not change. Son will not change. You either change and accept this or leave
NPD as in narcissistic
NPD as in narcissistic personality disorder? You need to run and never look back. Don’t let them guilt trip you, they don’t mean it - it’s just a means to an end. They will find your weak spot and use it over and over again until you are emotionally exhausted- then they will blame you for it. Then they will pretend the conversation never took place....