13 y/o SS lying, stealing, WTF DO I DO?!

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As the subject suggests - WTF DO I DO?!

My 13 y/o SS (been with his father since SS was 18 months old) has been stealing.
Not just from me, but from my friends, his aunt, his sisters.
He's taken my underwear, bras, sex toys, broken in to my phone and screenshotted intimate photos that I have shared with his father.
He has taken my friends' underwear, her daughters underwear, his aunts underwear, his sisters underwear and sex toys from his mother.

Now it's not him wearing women's underwear that is the problem - I am not shaming him on that, at all.
In fact, I have even offered to get him his own. On numerous occasions, which he has refused each time. But he just continues to take and take.

It's been going on for probably 6 months now - we've sat down with him and explained that it's not his curisoity that is the problem. It's the stealing that is the problem - and then when his father asked to go through his phone (he checks his battery usage to make sure he's not up at all hours of the night) he saw that he had been on his camera for an unusual amount of time...
To which he went in to his photos and found a whole lot of nude photos of me!

Last week (we are on school holidays) he was wearing a corset and his sister's leggings around the house in front of his two younger brothers...

I really feel like there is nothing I can do to help and my marriage is coming to an end because of SS behaviour!

It's driving me absolutely BONKERS

Him accessing your phone to steal sexy nude pics is

Crossing a line. Why haven't you put a passcode on it?

None of my skids even touch my husbands phone yet alone know his passcode. Between me and hubby, there are lots of sexy pics of one another and thats private. If any one of hubbies kids from exwife illegally accessed his phone to steal naked sexy pics, all hell would break loose.

hubby already lost his shit with pervy then 18.5 yr old ss when he was forcing his way into our bedroom knowing full well i was getting changed at hubbys childhood home. When ss said its ok he's coming in real quick, my husband was furious. Its bloody inappropriate

Has anyone to thought to get

Has anyone to thought to get this kid therapy? He's obviously got some mental health issues going on. A preoccupation with sex is not normal, nor is the stealing and lying. (And I'm not referring to whatever his sexual orientation is, just how he's going about understanding it).

Yeah.. this isn't stealing

Yeah.. this isn't stealing like taking your ipods or that 20 dollars from your purse. These are intimate items and invasions of privacy. His parents need to get him some therapy.. this is creepy.

Quit worrying about this dipshit kids fee fees.

No more coddling. Time for induction of abject misery for his thieving bullshit. And wearing corsets and fishnets around the house should be a zero tolerance activity. Not because he is wearing women's undergarments but because he is wearing stolen women's undergarments in a manner where they are no longer under anything. If he is not doing these things in private or performing as an adult, this has no business in front of anyone else, particularly your young children.

13 is long past old enough to understand that wrong is wrong and to get a notable ass whupping for it.

His choice of undergarments is not the issue, you got that part right. Time to take him to malls regularly and frequent lingerie stores. Tempt him repeatedly and when he shop lifts, call the police on him yourself.

Lather.... rinse.... repeat. See how he likes being at the detention center with people who will teach him some serious lessons. And Juvi has counselors. Most importantly, getting this kid help away from your young children is a double edged sword of success.

I think

I think you should get this kid in front of a counselor. I don't know if I'd be over reacting but honestly, if my skids displayed this kind of behavior and displayed it openly with my biokids, I would be a bit concerned what else he would expose them to. I mean, I would literally be worried about their well being around the SS. I don't think that this behavior should be taken lightly. I get that experimentation happens and this is totally normal but this is not the same as experimentation.