ok guys... this is a recurring problem in my marriage. The need to exclude the new wife when planning things to do with stepson. His first marriage failed in a big part because his obsession for his son. I guess there's really no surprise there, in the sense that our marriage is in trouble too.
My DH and got married almost a year ago.... there have been lots of fights over the same things over and over again. He thinks and feels that I am the one that starts the fights because I get frustrated at the things he does. He really is a nice man but he's obsessed with his ten year old son. He is in his late forties I am in my mid thirties with older boys. I moved from my home town to his, his home. The issue that keeps resurfacing is how he puts me aside for his son. I mean there are little things but they don't happen once in a while they happen "All the time". They share custody with his ex wife whose a total nut case. They each get the child one week But we get him EVERY SCHOOL DAY because she picks him up from his house after work. This summer has been hell for me. We had him every other week. The nights he has this ritual, where he lays with him almost every night leaving me in our bedroom. This week we got him for a shorter time, (praise God) I am sorry, he leaves today Tuesday instead of Friday because he is flying out. So yesterday I took my ss to work with me for a few hours, we got home and DH asked if I wanted to go to the pool I said no, I been fighting a real bad sinus infection. He took SS with him for about an hour or so.. no big deal. I made dinner, and we had dinner together, usually we go to our bedroom and watch something together but last night we couldn't because he needed to play with his son a computer game. I guess since he was leaving today he needed to fill in the time loss?? two weeks ago he did the same s*&T and I exploded after he said that tomorrow I am taking him to play darts, pool, and lunch to the place you and I went to. I mean not even a "hey would you like to go? nothing.. so of course I am really upset and hurt. Then he leaves our bedroom and goes to play a computer game with his son. It pissed me of even more. He says to me on Saturday I am taking him out on Tuesday because he really wants to buy a present for you because he's not going to be here for your birthday. On Sunday ss says how they are going to go and play darts and have lunch on Tuesday. So basically he lied? Yesterday ss says how he and daddy are going to have family time. I had to stop him and say "no, that's not a family" But of course I can't talk to DH about this because I am petty.
Am I being selfish? do all men do this and am I taking it too personal?
When ss is home is almost like I am supposed to disappear.