Am I being too unreasonable in my thinking?
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Okay so my stepsons are really close to each other. When they argue with each other, they sound like a married couple. One argument centered around how one brother didn't love the other because he didn't share his feelings with the other. Anyway, today they were watching TV with one brother with a pillow on his lap and the other brother with his head on the pillow. I just found it really ... you know gay. Am I not being objective? Because I brought this up to my friends and they feel I'm being illogical.
Are they twins? Have they had
Are they twins? Have they had anything traumatic happen or were they left alone together a lot? It really sounds like typical twin behavior.
Not twins nor traumatic. If
Not twins nor traumatic. If they were I could understand. They're 12 and 13 (about 18 months apart).
Irish twins, were they raised
Irish twins, were they raised to be twin like? Honestly they act like they only have each other to depend on, are they outcasts at school and only have each other? Do they share a room or classes? Their behavior is a little odd for non-twins but perfectly normal among twins so how do you say it is not ok KWIM?
They were raised to be best
They were raised to be best friends and share a room. Younger one is definitely more dependent upon his brother for his happiness. They have friends, but older brother is more gregarious.
If they were raised this way
If they were raised this way and the behavior is encouraged then for them it is normal and as long as no one is getting hurt and they both have other friends it is ok.
My two sd's (age 21 and 23)
My two sd's (age 21 and 23) are like this (and they often get confused for twins). Last year they travelled for 3 months overseas together - shared rooms, beds and did not have one day, one afternoon or even one hour alone in this whole time. I cannot comprehend this as I don't have a same sex sibling this close in age. They also were raised to be best friends. I often wonder if my feelings about their relationship are rooted in jealousy.
I'm kind of a distant/quiet
I'm kind of a distant/quiet person so I find their find their touchy feely behavior and lovers' quarrels odd at best. I will get flamed for this but I don't feel like boys should grow up like this: weak. Seriously, in my opinion the younger brother would marry his older brother if he had the chance.
My brother and I are and have
My brother and I are and have always been extremely close. I am 6yrs older. As kids we were affectionate and as men we remain very close. As kids he would lay with his head on my leg or lean against me on the sofa. We were and still are best friends. Mom and dad never tolerated fighting. Even if they had it would not have made much difference. We enjoyed each others company and liked each other. We still do. We also shared a room with bunk beds until I was 15. We never thought it was strange. That is what the house required and we were fine with it.
Our expression of affection these days is much different than when we were young. A greeting or goodbye with a hug and the occassional hand on the shoulder when we are spending time together just about covers it these days.
At the ages of your SS's I do not think that it is likely that this is an issue. Over the next few years they will be transitioning their relationship to one that is less of a child relationship and more of a young man's relationship. My brother and I are both successful graduate degreed professionals with wives and families and have a very strong adult male manly relationship.
Relax a bit. 12 & 13 is a bit young to be getting this worried about how two close brothers behave with each other when relaxing in their own home.
IMHO of course.
I am a little torn on this.
I am a little torn on this. Personally, I do not have any sons or step sons for that matter. All girls. My two BDs, 11 and 7 fight and bicker, but are close, and my two SDs 15 and 5 fight and bicker, but are close. They all do the laying on each other thing, and it annoys me to an extent, but I don't really say anything. I feel the 15 year old is too old for that. But, they're girls, so it's a little different. If they were boys, I'm not so sure I'd allow the laying on each other. I am the youngest of 3 boys and by the time I was 12, my brothers were 17 and 15. I wasn't laying on them. They were kicking my ass!! I don't think its "gay" so to speak, but I'm not so sure its appropriate for that age. Bear in mind, I grew up in The Bronx, in a housing projects where you had to be a little harder, and grow up a little faster. I don't know, I feel more confused now than when I started this post!!