So many adjustments....
I'm a newby!
In the past year and half I have had so many adjustments going on that's it's been a rollercoaster ride for quite some time. I am not legally married to my boyfriend of 3 years and obtained legal custody of his two boys ages 4 and 8 last year. Him and I also have a 2 year old daughter together. It's been a tough ride espeically since these boys were raised by their grandparents and given anything and everything they wanted. When they moved in with us, they were suprised to find out that there were rules that were to be followed. The 4 year old was a terror but we finally got him in a good place, but whenever he goes to see his grandparents he reverts back to the old ways. It takes us about a week to get him back to where he listens. The 8 year old is an emotional wreck becuase of all that he has been through with his biological mother so that's a challenge on it's own. I find myself getting more and more frustrated with the situation, but I know that I do love my boyfriend and his kids so much and I also think on the positive side that they are in a better place and will be better people becasue of this change.
I was really excited when the boys first came to move in with us, but I honestly did not think that being a step-parent could be this hard. My biggest challenge is trying to raise two kids that have been raised the complete opposite and trying not to favor my daughter over them. Sometimes I feel like I have some resentments because my boyfriend, our daughter and I were never able to be a family. She was my first child so that was a very exciting time for me. But, I went from 0 kids to 3 right when she was born. Is it bad that I have resentments like that?
Not bad at all! In fact I am
Not bad at all! In fact I am sure that it is completely normal. With your own child and two step children under 10 WOW :jawdrop: I am stressed just thinking about it. If you can I would really consider going to talk to someone professionally to help you come up with some strategies. With that much weight on your shoulders I think it would be tremendously helpful. Also make time for your self, go shopping alone, get your nails done, anything that you like and you can pretty easily fit into your busy schedule. Force yourself to make that time, otherwise resentment can quickly overwhelm and destroy anything in its way. Good luck with everything.
Thank you for the reply!!
Thank you for the reply!!
I am currently talking to someone professional with everything that has been going on and you are pretty much right on with what she told me. It's nice to have places likes these to get more outside views and opinions. The funny part was I never realized how much I actually had on my plate until I started talking to someone and it was a huge eye opener. I graduated college while caring for three kids as well as working a full time job. I look back and have no idea how I did it. My boyfriend and I have had many conflicts when it comes to the children since now he is in school and working a full time job. I feel like I have to constantly remind him that these are his children too and he definitely needs to pull his weight.
It's been a roller coaster but your advice really helps! I'm really trying to focus on ME and try to make things better at home. Slowly but surely it will get there!
THANK YOU!
This site really does help! I
Were all human and we all get
Were all human and we all get stressed out when dealing with what's on our plate.I agree with lovepets you need time for yourself.That's how I cope sometimes whether its taking a 30 minute shower or going "shopping" by myself it helps to not be around what stresses you constantly and just have a moment to breathe and take in the moment of silence as I like to call it : )