My SO being a total Ahole help
I have a question. My SO is in such a shitty mood and whines that he is always stuck inside. He's incredibly irritable and angry and can't control his anger. It's to a point he's making SD9 suffer. I feel this is unfair for her. I am so sick and damn tired of him making other family members suffer because he's not happy. My SD9 tried to hug and kiss her dad he said he's not in the mood so momma bear here had to tuck her in because he's having a tantrum. He whines because he doesn't get out because of his health. He's been pretty much confined to a damn house because of his health. I told him to speak to me about it. He said he's sick of playing games. I told him to basically take the vehicle and get some time alone out of the house.
I'm tired of venting and walking on egg shells. Mentally it's not okay for me I've been crying lots and fearful of him. His anger and explosive behavior in the past year and recently has been horrible. I'm seriously reconsidering my relationship of almost 3 years and a BS3mos to have full custody as he's not able to keepchis anger in check and his mood swings under control. He refuses to get mental health check and also stabilize his manic episodes. I'm pretty sure he has depression or Bipolar. He lost his mom in July last year from murder by the township overstepping boundaries, his house the township condemned by poor foundation and no heat (the furnace quit) so he's with me in my house, and it's honestly something I wish he went back to his house so I can have ME time.
I'm tired of him being mean, disrespectful to my home, angry all the time, asshole behavior, me scared, him calling my children names dirty words, saying BS3mos is cuddled too much and he's sick right now.
I'm burnt out and tired and to be honest I want out of this relationship if he doesn't grow the hell up and doesn't help himself mentally and emotionally. It's too much for me. I have been by his side since he lost his mom and help him overcome obstacles.
I need your opinions. What should I or we do. I have gave this all I got but mentally I'm burnt tonight, mostly checked out of this relationship by his narcissistic and dramatic behavior, his inability to keep his anger in check and his enjoyment of making others suffer just because he is.
If he won't help himself and
If he won't help himself and do something about his anger and appalling behaviour then there is nothing you can do. There is no point in suffering for nothing so put yourself and your well-being first. Tell him to pack his bags and GTF out of your home. It doesn't matter where he goes as long as he's gone.
You have a duty towards your baby that you don't have towards a grown man. Get him out of there and take your life back.
Just no.
Save yourself and your child.
NOW!
Document his behavior NOW.
Document his behavior NOW. Film it, if necessary. You need to establish that he's a risk to the welfare and safety of all his children.
He's your SO, not your husband. Kick his ass out. Also, if he's violent and raging, call the police.
If you think he is Bipolar
If you think he is Bipolar then he is in the grips of a mood swing. Find the Julie Fast books on Amazon, and her Instagram account. You are not his punching bag and should ask him to leave. SD should go stay with BM. None of you should have to suffer from his inability to manage his moods. Nothing changes unless YOU make it change. Put your bitch boots on and start kicking some a$$
Get him out
I don't think your situation is going to get any better. You wrote about this guy being abusive back in August 22 and he doesn't sound like he's improved.
Get your ducks in a row and get him out of your house and your life. Being alone is better than living a life of fear.
Is he still abusing his
Is he still abusing his daughter?
Get all the documentation you
Get all the documentation you can. Video, diary enteries, witnesses willing to testify to his behavior.
Kick him out and file for sole custody with supervised vistation only.
I agree with the other
I agree with the other posters. Get proof of his terrible behavior and give him a timeline to GTFO of your house. You don't deserve this and without medical intervention and him recognizing he has issues, it's not likely to change. I know it's sad for his daughter, but this entire sh&tshow is not your problem. Maybe his daughter can go to her mother's?
This situation would be a NO from me.
Please take care of yourself and your child.
Been there, done that
I've been there. My DH has manic bipolar, and when he is ill, forgets to eat, can't sleep, etc then his meds don't work as well. Then I have to deal with "bipolar anger" which is a constant, seething paranoiac anger that is directed at me, no matter what I do.
How I handle this is I brace myself for an irrational, negative response. Then I calmly tell him that I am worried about his mental health - that he is not acting like himself. He will likely deny it at first, but ask him to think on it overnight, then drop it.
If he is still not willing to calmly discuss why he is angry all the time, then I repeat my statement from the day before, and I tell him "I am not negotiating with you on this. I love you, and I hate to see you in pain. However, I will not tolerate you treating me this way. I am not your emotional punching bag. If you continue to ignore your mental health and to treat me and the kids badly, then I will leave you. Its up to you.You decide. You have until tomorrow at 5 pm to let me know how you choose to address your problem.
Then refuse to engage with him if he is simply "punishing you" for being you. Walk away, drive out on an errand, but just get away from his anger and treat yourself to a new dress, some ice cream, or whatever makes you feel better. This is hard, and you don't deserve this. Its not your fault. Your loved one has a mental illness, but that doesn't entitle him act like an a$$hole. He needs to take responsibility for his problems. If you are afraid for your physical safety or your child's safety, then leave or call the police and make sure he leaves.
I know it sucks. Not everyone can handle being with a spouse with bipolar. Its not an easy thing. You have to make your own choice - just don't let him use it as an excuse for abusing you verbally or physically. That is never ok.