He also abuses his daughter which if I do dump him I will be calling childrens protective services on him.

WHAT?! He is abusing his daughter. Is he abusing the 1yo? If not, he will. And your unborn baby. Call CPS NOW. Protect all of the children and protect yourself.

Do you have family nearby?  I think you realize you should split.  He's already abusive to his daughter, your son is being exposed to this and you have a new baby on the way.  I see you are in Canada and I'm unfamiliar with the services there but you're in a major city and there has to be some kind of women's shelter if your family is not nearby.

Take heart, you can have a different life without all this trauma.  Reach out and get some help.   Let us know how you're doing.

There are many Canadians on here, I know they will have good suggestions.  Good luck.

Here are some domestic violence resources in Canada: https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/stop-fa...

Please contact someone and talk things through with them. Your boyfriend's behavior is abusive - towards both you and the children. While I understand your desire to protect his daughter, your first priority has to be you and your kids.

Why on earth are you putting up with this crap? Since when does he get to decide to switch off the A/C in YOUR home? He isn't communicating with you. He has no interest in doing so. He doesn't see any problems with his behaviour - can you live with this kind of treatment indefinitely? Probably not, so why prolong the agony?

You said yourself that you're sick of his "crappy attitude and anger and rage and taking it out on me" and he makes you cry all the time, you're also sick of walking on eggshells, so stop. As in right now. If you won't dump him for yourself, dump him for the sake of your children. They shouldn't have to be exposed to his anger crises. Dump him and call CPS, today.

Your profile says you are in Canada. There is help available. https://www.ctvnews.ca/w5/here-s-who-to-contact-if-you-need-help-dealing...

He is abusing you. You are aware he abuses his daughter. What do you think will happen to your child? 
Realize that (in my state at least) if you turn a blind eye to the abuse of his daughter, you risk losing custody of your child if you stay with him. 

You don't currently live with him. Don't move in with him or let him move it. Call for help. There is help available. Protect your child. Protect yourself.

Honey... there are much worse things than being alone.

What you need to do is get out.. get your baby out.. report him to child services.. make sure it is all documented so that he will not have unsupervised visitation with the son you are going to have.  and nail him for all the child support you possibly can.

I mean.. I can guess some of the reasons he is acting like this... he could be using drugs.. he could be cheating on you... he could be feeling trapped by another child... but none of that is an EXCUSE for being a ragin dbag... abusing his child.. 

And.. if this guy is this off the handle.. then you really should look up "shaken baby syndrome".. because if you think it will be tough going it without him.. try going it without him with a severely disabled child who will need lifelong care?  or worse.. a dead child to mourn.

Clearly you need to be out of there.. but you need to contact the women's resources that have been provided here to make sure you do it safely.

I read your post with a heavy heart and a sense of dread.  Your partner sounds exactly like my ex-husband.  I mean, exactly.  And I think what you are seeing is the real person - he's just managed to control himself and keep his behavior covered up for the past two years.  He was wearing a mask so to speak.  I think the behavior is his true self and it is abusive.  I think you have just been blinded for the past two years - I know because I went through the same thing.  I not only ignored his abusive signs but I also believed him when he told me I was being selfish when I expected him to parent his son.  My ex would also become irate at the smallest of things.  I was constantly on eggshells.  My stomach would be in knots on my way home from work, not knowing what to expect from him.  And it got worse.  In the months before I left, he became physical:  I was shoved, had my leg slapped and he slapped my phone out of my hands because he was berating me and I was trying to ignore him.  He also constantly accused me of cheating and was very nasty to me.  In retrospect, he took great pleasure in humiliating me and berating me - he would often say jokingly, "I love to watch you squirm" whenever he was accusing me of cheating or being mean to me.  Basically, it gave him pleasure to be cruel to me.  This behavior is NOT normal.  Please read my previous posts.  It was also to the point in our relationship where I had to drive everywhere when he and I went somewhere because he was so angry he would road rage and get into fights with people.  The month before I left him, he got into a fight with another driver.  My husband pulled the car up to the other driver's car, the other driver got out of his car and approached the car on my side with my window rolled down.  My husband's anger put me in direct danger - I would have been the first person the other driver hit or shot at if he had taken a notion to do so.  Take my advice, leave this guy.  IT WILL GET WORSE.

You wrote that you feel vulnerable.  It could be, like you said, because you are pregnant.  But I think it is because he wants you to feel that way.  Abusers have a way of making their victims feel powerless.  And don't think for even a second if you submit to his will that it will change anything.  Even if you shut down, keep your head down and nod in agreement as he verbally berates you, it changes nothing. You can be the most subservient person ever and it won't matter.  It won't make him feel bad or calm him down.  It only reinforces his behavior.  Again, I speak from years of experience. 

Also, I don't think his behavior is a result of his mother's passing but rather his behavior surfaced because of it.  I think this guy was an a&&hole the entire time but again, we're all blind to it in the beginning.  I lost my dad less than a year and a half ago and I NEVER acted this way - and believe me, I was completely devastated as it was a sudden, unexpected death.

Only you know what's best for you but this situation sounds precarious and I highly doubt anything will change. 

Please make arrangements to take care of yourself, your 1 year old and your unborn baby.   I hate to sound mean but his daughter isn't your problem - report him to CPS for his treatment of her, maybe let his baby mama know what's going on and walk way.  You can't save her.

As far as being alone, I am alone. I have no children.  I do have family close but I am alone in my home.  I can tell you from experience, I am happier.  There are way worse things than being alone. 

I read your previous post about his daugher's mini-wife syndrome, how he isn't affectionate with you and puts his daughter ahead of you.  Again, 100% my ex-husband.  And he continued to baby his manchild who was 21 yo when I finally left.  IT WON'T CHANGE. 

I hope my post doesn't offend you. I say these things not to make you feel bad but to impress upon you the urgency of your situation.  Even though I don't know you, I care.  You aren't alone - many other women have been through similar things, including me.  And you can find the courage to leave and the strength to care for yourself and your children.  You can.  And I can tell you that if you stay, you will regret it and by the time you get sick of it, most of your younger years may have passed you by.  I wasted 9 years of my life with my ex and now I am too old to have children of my own.  He refused to have kids with me because he didn't want his son to feel "left out." 

Please keep us posted and please, take care of yourself, your 1 year old and unborn baby - and get to safety. **BIG HUGS**

He also abuses his daughter which if I do dump him I will be calling childrens protective services on him.
 

What????  He abuses his daughter and you'll only do something to protect her if you dump him?  And you have your other child in this environment?  PLEASE dump him, then, ASAP.  I would advise you to do that anyway.  And I would document the abuse of his daughter as much as possible so that you can try to keep him away from your son once he's born.

Do you have somewhere to go?  Someone you can stay with?  If not, call a shelter.  You don't want to be walking on eggshells hoping this man doesn't explode again, especially when there are children involved.  I understand that you're scared to raise your baby alone, but that's much less scary than living with a man who is abusive and who has you in a near constant state of fear and anxiety (which is what will happen even if it hasn't happened yet).

There is absolutely no reason for you to stay with an abuser.  It doesn't matter that his mother died, it doesn't matter WHY he acts the way he does.  It is up to him to control his anger and not be abusive to women and children.  I would seek out an attorney and find out what you need to do to protect your unborn child.  Even if you don't want to leave for yourself, leave for your one year old who will be very adversely affected from being in this environment, and your unborn baby.  Soon!

Stop trying to claim responsibility for him being a POS.

Move on, rescue yourself and the baby.

Now!

I think you have your answer. Leave him. He is not a good man. There is no excuse to treat you this way. He won't change after the baby is born, he will probably get worse due to there will be more stress. 

You deserve better for you and your baby. Take him to court and get some child support.

This is abuse. Leave like now. Once you leave please call CPS immediately for that poor little girl. Do you ever wonder why he was single when you met him? 

Immediately, if not sooner.

Regardless of SO flavor.  DH, DW, BF, GF.......

Life is too short to put up with an angry asshole who abuses  you or your family members emotionally, physically, financially, etc, etc, etc......

He lost his mommmy. Hopefully she is kicking  him in the ass constantly from beyond due to his dick-ish-ness.

Grrrrrr!

Ask him. "Do you think your mother is proud of the angry crap you are spewing?"