I get anxious
I almost don't understand it, however I do try to control it. Every time my SO talks on the phone with the BM and she mentions she's pulling SD out of school for some reason or another, I get anxious and angry but I don't discuss this with my SO, as this has caused many disagreements, at this point, it's just "easier" to attempt letting it go. Maybe this stemmed from a moment last year, when we hadn't seen Leah for a few weeks and we wanted her to take Thursday and Friday off, since we wanted to bring her back to our house for some much needed quality time together. Of course, the BM refused, saying that SD needed to keep that time in case she got sick. Either way, it was in April of last year, right before we would start an outage and work a lot of OT to get weeks off during the summer to, in effect, get to spend more time with SD.
Tonight, before work, SO called SD and she mentions she's missing tomorrow at school because she'll be going to a hotel for a wedding this weekend. (it takes about 2 1/2 hours to make it to this hotel from where they live, so I don't quite understand why they can't leave after school?) huh-hum.
Does this seem like a double-standard to you? it certainly does to me.
Either way, my fiance can tell when there's something wrong with my, my eyes give me away every time, however I lie right to his face and say nothing, meanwhile my blood is starting to boil.
This is probably taking years off my life!! ahah
Thanks for reading
He gets upset, because he
He gets upset, because he feels as though I am making too much out of what he sees as "nothing". Just because he is willing to be pushed around, I can see right through it and I know that the BM might not think it's important for SD to spend time with BDad. He's got that attitude that we all know to well here, the passive, will-never-get-what-you're-entitled-to behavior. He walks on eggshells to avoid pissing off BM, which I'm sure everybody here agrees is ridiculous. How can they be so oblivious, and yet, these things are so obvious to the rest of the world?!
I agree with documenting all the "events" that happen re: BM and SD.
The bio-mother has all the
The bio-mother has all the power. Your SO has told you to stop. You are powerless so stay out of it. There are many reasons for a non-custodial parent to be wary of making the custodial parent engry. Starting WWIII is not in the best interests of the kid.
In the course of time he may see it your way but meanwhile let the parents do the parenting.
Have you checked on Amazon.com or other booksellers for books on being a step-mother? You will get a lot of insight about his behavoir by reading them. Check the library first if you wish. Step parenting is your key word in both places.
All advice is appreciated and
All advice is appreciated and taken into account. It's a day-to-day process. I'm in it for the long-haul!