Having trouble liking my stepdaughter.....7 yr old
I have a step daughter who just turned 7 last month. She acts like she's 4 most days. I have two kids of my own. When I first met my SD...she was 2 1/2. She couldn't say dad or mom..or anything.
She basically spoke gibberish.
I thought this was odd especially considering my daughter could speak in perfect sentences by that age...even some spanish thanks to Dora. my daughter really is exceptionally bright for her age and I get told constantly how smart she is....so I thought maybe I was just comparing the two unfairly.
However, over the last 4 1/2 years I've noticed she is not very bright. I'd even go so far to say as she is almost dumb at times. I feel so sick writing that, but I can't take it anymore. I love my kids and whenever I see a sad story about another child I cry my eyes out...but I feel nothing for my SD.
My other complaints... She is dirty all the time. No one else but me makes her bathe regularly, so her hair and skin smells. She can't do ANYTHING by herself. I have to show her every weekend how to turn the damn shower on ...how to brush her hair...how to hang her towel up. Simple things!!!
She is also damn loud all the time!! She can't not make the most awful noises and sounds. My son isn't even that loud.
She has no drive to do anything...laziest child I have ever seen. And the really sad part is she is grotesquely obese for her age. She weighs 95 pounds. I have told my H that she seriously needs to be on a diet and she needs to be disciplined and she needs to be tested for mental handicaps. She has almost been held back her kindergarten and first year.
I find myself short tempered with her and hating her being there. I know this isn't normal or right. I want to love her and want to look forward to seeing her...but right now I dread it.
I don't know what to do anymore. I've been praying for God to give me compassion and love for her...but nothing is happening and I feel like screaming all the time. I love my husband and I know it hurts him that I don't spend any time with her and snap at her. I would NEVER hit or abuse her in any way!!
I will say..that my daughter isn't easy to be around either...for myself or my H. She has some issues with anger and talking back. So to be fair...I know that my H doesn't like my daughter very much either.
I was the same way when I
I was the same way when I came into the house w/ my DH & SS. He was 8 at the time and I took it for granted that this child knew how to take care of himself. I was wrong wrong wrong. He didn't know simple things (like how to hang a towel) because nobody had ever taught him. He didn't have the thought process that adults do. I.e., "If i put this on the floor, it'll get dirty, will start to smell because it's damp and it won't dry. Therefore, I can't use it tomorrow". If, after you've taught her to hang her towel and she STILL doesn't do it, then you have a problem.
At 7 years old, what kind of ambition do you expect her to have? Soon after I moved in, we signed up SS for cub scouts & he's starting soccer in the fall. He fought us when we told him we signed him but but he needed the push. Now, he LOVES scouts and is excited to start soccer. Otherwise, he'd sit inside all the time & play video games.
we only get her every other
we only get her every other weekend. Thank God! Because right now I can't stand to be around her.
I have shown her every single weekend how to turn the shower on and how to hang her towel up. EVERY weekend she is there. She tunes people out. She spaces out and you have to say her name 4 times before she will respond...and when she does...it's like the lights are on but no one is home. I think she needs to be tested and have voiced my concerns to her dad. He refuses to talk to his ex about these things. I think he is in denial.
It took us two and a half years to get her to sleep on her own. She still can't get herself dressed or do anything without help.
Unfortunately her mother is a nightmare. She needs to be committed and is constantly up and down. We think she is bipolar and schizophrenic.
The SD has NO energy (which might be due to her obesity) and lacks any ambition whatsoever. She did soccer, but cried and spaced out the whole time. She was in dance and seemed to like it...but her mom pulled her out. We bought a kinect thinking that would get her excited. Nothing gets her excited. I swear she is drugged sometimes.
Getting her to read in kindergarten was like teaching a dog to ride a bike. She is slow and puts no effort into anything. Drives me crazy!!!! When she plays she gets so loud you can't think or hear anything else. I am at my witts end
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we only get her every other
we only get her every other weekend. Thank God! Because right now I can't stand to be around her.
I have shown her every single weekend how to turn the shower on and how to hang her towel up. EVERY weekend she is there. She tunes people out. She spaces out and you have to say her name 4 times before she will respond...and when she does...it's like the lights are on but no one is home. I think she needs to be tested and have voiced my concerns to her dad. He refuses to talk to his ex about these things. I think he is in denial.
It took us two and a half years to get her to sleep on her own. She still can't get herself dressed or do anything without help.
Unfortunately her mother is a nightmare. She needs to be committed and is constantly up and down. We think she is bipolar and schizophrenic.
The SD has NO energy (which might be due to her obesity) and lacks any ambition whatsoever. She did soccer, but cried and spaced out the whole time. She was in dance and seemed to like it...but her mom pulled her out. We bought a kinect thinking that would get her excited. Nothing gets her excited. I swear she is drugged sometimes.
Getting her to read in kindergarten was like teaching a dog to ride a bike. She is slow and puts no effort into anything. Drives me crazy!!!! When she plays she gets so loud you can't think or hear anything else. I am at my witts end
»
we only get her every other
we only get her every other weekend. Thank God! Because right now I can't stand to be around her.
I have shown her every single weekend how to turn the shower on and how to hang her towel up. EVERY weekend she is there. She tunes people out. She spaces out and you have to say her name 4 times before she will respond...and when she does...it's like the lights are on but no one is home. I think she needs to be tested and have voiced my concerns to her dad. He refuses to talk to his ex about these things. I think he is in denial.
It took us two and a half years to get her to sleep on her own. She still can't get herself dressed or do anything without help.
Unfortunately her mother is a nightmare. She needs to be committed and is constantly up and down. We think she is bipolar and schizophrenic.
The SD has NO energy (which might be due to her obesity) and lacks any ambition whatsoever. She did soccer, but cried and spaced out the whole time. She was in dance and seemed to like it...but her mom pulled her out. We bought a kinect thinking that would get her excited. Nothing gets her excited. I swear she is drugged sometimes.
Getting her to read in kindergarten was like teaching a dog to ride a bike. She is slow and puts no effort into anything. Drives me crazy!!!! When she plays she gets so loud you can't think or hear anything else. I am at my witts end
oops..somehow I am not bright
oops..somehow I am not bright enough to not post the same reply three times (sigh)
I personally agree 100% with
I personally agree 100% with her being developmentally delayed. At least in the mental area. Body wise...she looks like a 12 year old. I think I am more mad at her mom and my husband because I feel like nobody is helping her and I feel the burden of having to. And to be honest...I don't want that responsibility. I try not to compare her to my kids, but it is really hard. I don't know how to convince her parents that something is wrong with her and I don't know how to act around her. It is very awkward for the both of us.
Are things better w/SD? I am
Are things better w/SD? I am getting married in two weeks, and my soon to be SS is about the same, he'll be 7 and when he's w/us he acts like he knows nothing. He can't even tie his shoes, only cause BM and soon to be husband haven't shown him. I feel bad for him in a way, his BM is never around and he's pawned off on his older brother while BM goes to her boyfriends. but in other ways I dont feel bad, he plays video games all day at his mom's. doesn't go to daycare or have any other interaction w/any kids except in first grade only. i know he;'s smart cause he can maneuver through games. but he acts dumb alot so his dad and big brother will do everything for him. and i too hat to say it, but I really don't like him much, and not sure why. I try to talk to him or include in in conversations but he doesn't reply to me. he'll reply to his dad or anyoe else, but not me. i show him thing, then everytime he's with us, he so easily "forgets" it all. ugh so aggravating.