You are here

God AWFUL step-daughter....

CindyLouLicious's picture

Ok so I have 2 step-daughters ages 8yrs and 10 yrs and a bio son age 5yrs..my relationship with my son is great as to be expected and my relationship with my 8yr old SD is wonderful too..however my relationship with my 10yr old SD is HELL total utter HELL..Ive been with both girls since their mom walked out 8 years ago and I know having a new motherly role isn't easy..Alicia (thats my 10yr old SD) hasnt had it easy as she saw her mom physically leave and not return then her Dad got full custody of both girls and their mom was ordered to pay child support..which she still does not pay..after awhile she would see the girls for an hour or two at a time then not see them for a few months at a time claiming numerous illnesses and blah blah excuse after excuse..shes a deadbeat plain and simple..anyway Alicia wants her mom back and I know that but seriously when is it gonna hit that the woman will NEVER wise up and be back?? The last few years with Alicia have been HELL! She has tried unsuccessfully to cause problems with her Dad and me but we stand strong! Alicia is 10 years old but acts like she is 4 or 5..does not get along well with peers as she is always commenting on something they do wrong and bullies the smaller ones..she even got slapped across the face once by a bigger girl because the bigger girl didnt like the fact that Alicia was kicking a kindergartner on the bus on the way home..she rightfully deserved that consequence becasue we have told her time and time again that other kids will not put up with her crap..then she went back to the girl the next day and tried saying that her own sister told me what had happened when Alicia was the one that had told me..just blamed her sister so easily and didn't even feel the least bit bad about it..now we are at a whole new school but same state just different area..at this new school she has gotten into trouble for causing issues with other kids and for stealing..(shes been stealing since she began pre-k though) when she is caught stealing she denies it repeatedly even when we or the teacher have physical proof shes guilty..she has damaged her relationship with her teacher so badly also because she claimed her teacher was saying not so nice things about her Dad and come to find out those were all lies..her teacher barely speaks to her anymore..recently Alicia has caused numerous kids to become upset because she will raise her hand in class and when called on she will start unloading all sorts of lies of things that supposably go on at home..she has told numerous kids that her Dad and I both beat her on a daily basis though she never has one mark..the truth of the matter is is that when she gets mad SHE is the one that comes after me..I have received bruises on my legs from her fits of rage and they can start from something as simple as me telling her to wait a minute on something until I have some free time..like shell ask for a book and I'll tell her to wait a minute then she'll stomp off to her room crying..I will then tell her she has to wait longer then she will start to kick the crap out of her walls and tear things up..to date since we moved here in November of 2010 she has 2 giant sized holes in her walls and 2 smaller ones..her door is now off its hinges from her kicking it so hard and she also busted the lower part of her window..she is TOTAL HELL to live with..I admit she and I have NO relationship whatsoever and kind of doubt we ever will..I do care for her but am so sooo sooooo sick of all her lies she tells and all the crap..even when she and I are genuinely getting along she still tells others at school that I'm this horrible person that does mean things..I just dont know what to do with her anymore or what to even think of her..currently I only talk to her when necessary and concentrate on her two younger siblings..she has also been in outpatient hospital care 2 or 3 times and we've had to admit her into inpatient hospital for 72 hours a total of 3 times for threatening to slash my throat while I sleep and becoming so uncontrolable and irate that she goes after my 5 yr old son which in my eyes is a BIIIIIIG BIIIIG NOOO NOOOOOO..I'm sorry but its my blood son over her ANY DAY! Since she has had 3 stays in inpatient she is now set for an inpatient treatment facility where she will be gone for at least 6 months to possibly longer..can't say Im not thrilled about this! Her fits and attitude and just pure hatred for everyone and everything has taken its toll on my marriage but I WILL NOT be running away any time soon all because she wants her real mom back..she has to come to terms with that one day and wake up and realize that the woman dosen't care..I know she will believe she does forever but maybe one day she will wise up..I really hope this facility she will be at will do some good for her though because if not then we will be looking into a more permanent home for her to stay until she is a legal adult..there is no reason my other two children should have to suffer being around this because it isn't healthy or safe..Alicia is one of those kids that tries so hard to get others to feel sorry for her and even tells other kids that she will hang herself in her room and tell me shes running away..sad to say but her bio mom is the VERY SAME WAY! This child looks acts and talks just like her bio mom it is soooooo friggin scary! I'm just damned if I do and damned if I don't anymore..so I figure my best bet is to just send her out to play and quit enforcing anything because its more of a battle than anything and I simply cannot take it anymore! Then when she turns 18 and she gets into the real world she will get one hell of a rude awakening! I give up anymore!

Yme's picture

Oh my! I feeeeel your pain!! I live 1/2 of your hell...not so much violence (but its starting to show its ugly head)....My SD13 was the very same way at 10! (run away/lies/stealing/WRITTEN death threats against me/kill myself by starving myself"/ all the same bs!!) She would talk trash about me at school....I was a volunteer there and SD didnt get much from it....Been accused of all kind of things...all LIES!! SD13 is on a thin rope here now...she goes to a special school that deals with kids with these types of issues...when we paid out of pocket for a private school (while my other skids and bio kids went to public school...) SD took the walker from a handicap kid and hid it!!!!! They told us she was possessed!!! She is so mean and vile!! At home and at school....all of the situations she is in there and here are problems...stealing/lying/disrespect...common thread??? My life long friends dont want her around their kids....and their kids dont want her around them....It is from her behavior....DH cant see that.....His "buried head syndrome"!!
SD13 has never been put in the treatment center although she has hit and pushed me several times...BUT it has been made VERY clear to SD13 that if she ever puts a hand on me again that her DOD (dear ole dad) WILL call 911! DH did bring this up in therapy all by himself and I was shocked! I wish DH would take the psych dr's advice and put SD13 in a residential treatment program....a 6 months "BREAK" would be HEAVEN in our home and I could only HOPE that DH would see that and realise that his toxic spawn has been the sole reason everyone in our home is unhappy (and yes there are other skid that love and respect me!!!)
I really wish you the best and can only envy that your DH is on the same page as you......You have found a good place to vent...take the advice here that seems to help and ignore the comments that may not...we are all here to vent and rage....Say all the things here that no one else understands...because we here understand....

CindyLouLicious's picture

Ok Im new here so can you please tell me how to edit my posting?? Thanks. And it is a pleasure to meet you!!!!! So happy Im not the only one living in temporary hell! I don't get how most husbands don't see whats going on with their kids and the new Mom or Dad..it really pisses me off! Most stories I hear from women its the same thing about how their DH dosen't see the shit their kid is doing..I was VERY VERY lucky to find the guy I did! He shares my opinions and views and even though he loves his daughter he too is getting mighty sick of her crap as well..he dosen't want to lose his marriage because she is miserable about me being here..she has to get over it and deal that her mom isnt coming back..I mean seriously there are so many kids out there that have gone through way worse and they dont sit there and try and make others feel sorry for them or throw fits..my SD has been told by docs, teachers and even other kids to "grow up". I know it'll never happen though because this kid is beyond selfish and hates everyone and everything..I wish your situation were better..I know its hard but godbless this site! I was just thrilled when I found it! and are you sure my SD and your SD arent related??? they sound like almost the same person! we are very fortunate to have the school we have too as they do not buy her crap at all or her stories..she even got the class all worked up one day saying all kinds of bs lies..my personal opinion i think some children are just plain evil..ugh its sooo frustrating! well gotta go cook dinner..hope to hear back from ya! thanks!

Yme's picture

Also a note to think about: PLEASE go into your post and pull SD's name out of it....There are Crazy BioMom's who stalk here for us Biochy StepMom's to say anything negative (although FULL of TRUTH) about their Lil Angels!!! You dont want to be targeted by a stalker here with a Bio child with the same name!!!!
Easy to to just go to your blog and hit the edit button...SD10 will work just fine Smile

Auteur's picture

**Ditto**

We have plenty of BM trolls on this site just here to stir the pot. They want to dispose of any venting about their bios on this site (although painfully true)

Evil Step Witch of OZ's picture

You are in a living nightmare. I don't know what to say except I am really sorry you are going through this. This must be so hard on you and your marriage.
She sounds like she does need to get some professional.

I wish you all the best. Please let us know how this all goes for you. Your story is interesting I just have no advice for you, never been through it myself.

Take care.