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Getting him to move on

bettyboop04's picture

Hi I'm new. So SS7 was at a community school and had made no improvement in learning. They said that it was play based learning and when the kids were ready they would ask to learn and thats when they would teach them. Until then they were kids and having fun so they wouldnt pressure them. BM chose this school and taught there. Dad wasn't happy but gave the school a chance (spending the day there, parent teacher interviews, explaining his expectation to see improvement etc). No improvement. SS7 started playing up and interrupting BMs class (grade 3 and he was in prep) so they changed him to her classroom (not for his own good but so the other kids could learn).. This didn't work and he began acting out more as he couldn't have mum all to himself (sometimes violently). She doesn't believe in discipline and the boys behave horrifically when they are with her. Anyway she couldn't take it anymore and chose a very very structured school to put SS7 in (I think hoping he would hate it and act out against dad). Needless to say he doesn't like it one bit and is so far behind because of the other school he needs to repeat. He sees us as the bad people for making him go and his mum as the good one because she 'wanted him to be at school but it's daddy keeping him from going back'. Does anyone have any ideas on what to say or how to handle him when he acts out when taking him to school? He doesn't care they he is now reading and writing and doing what everyone else is - he just sees that he is missing out on playing everyday. We take him to the park after school but it just starts again the next day!! Help!!!!

bettyboop04's picture

Oops

bettyboop04's picture

Thanks for your reply. They have 50% custody. BM still works at the community school so talks about it all the time. All he can hear is what he is missing - and he knows he is missing. The new school doesn't feel normal to him cause he has been at the other school and believes that is normal. BM says he cries constantly and doesn't want to go and hates sitting at a desk and has no friends - but with us he tells us about his friends and his best friend and loves showing us what he did during the day (which we never saw anything from the other school cause he just wanted to climb in the playground and run on the oval - so didn't do anything to show us). We brought it up and she just says that they are more willing to talk to her cause we are strict and they fear getting in trouble for their feelings - totally not true - we listen and then reason with explanations if need be. She tends to give in consistently to ensure they have a happy childhood.

I know in time he will understand - its just gut wrenching when he had such a thirst to learn and now he can only see what he is missing and isn't applying himself as much as he could. So hard to know what to say but thank you for your advice.

As for the school - who knows!! They believe kids should be allowed to be kids for as long as they can be and they all get to an age they want to learn and that's when they will teach them. It seems like glorified day care to be honest.