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The Devil- baby mama

hawaiigirl's picture

Ok, so here it goes, input please. My fiance has a 2 yr old. He pays his child support (quite a hefty amount, at that) on time, all the time, never has been late. See's his daugther regularly. Now she is asking for outside expenses- specifically for daycare. The state is on shut down in MN and so she is not getting daycare assistance (poor her) but part of his csupport is broke down specifically for daycare. He said no. Said all he is paying is child support, she needs to make it work with what he pays, nothing extra, and certainly no more cash. She has not threatened to take him to court, and not allow him to see his kid. (her words were- your little $$ every month doesnt cover outside expenses, and if u dont pay, u dont expect to see her for quite some time, and if u dont wanna pay, we will let judge decide" he basically said, yeah yeah, see me in court then. WOW!! Im fuming for him, he is fuming. The nerve i swear... The funny thing is if she takes him to court they will see she is making double income what she made when they first went and his hasnt changed, she will hurt herself in her mess.

Anon2009's picture

If he's doing what he is legally obligated to do, that's all he can do. Let her take this to court and show them your documentation. Keep communication with her confined to emails and texts so you can print them off from a computer. Highlight the sections where she states she'll withhold visitation from your fiance for the judge to see.

Best of luck to you and please keep us posted on what happens.

Auteur's picture

I"d say you have a good chance with her doubled income b/c you live in MN and not NY, NY, MA or CA. In those states, biodad can kiss his wallet goodbye for 21 years.

In my case GG pays $1000 a month for three kids. Rolled into that figure is daycare which the BM doesn't use anymore.

GG makes $15 an hour, 40 hours a week. Do a little math and know that GG could NEVER live on his own where rents in upstate NY for one person start at $600 a month. And the high rate of taxes makes his take home pay approx. $200 a week.

He would not qualify for any programs b/c the state only sees his TOTAL income and not the MASSIVE amount going to CS. While it may not really be massive, it IS for a man making $15 an hour.

GG will not go back to court to get the daycare amount taken off b/c this will open the door to the BM (the Behemoth) to try and INCREASE the CS. In most states, the Child Support Enforcement Unit gets matching fed dollars for every dollar collected in CS so ZERO incentive to grant a downward modification at the court level.

The courts, BMs and BM's attorney's will FIND a way to keep CS sky high and even higher. It's a big racket.

hawaiigirl's picture

Yes thats the fear he has too, and why he hasnt taken it back for modification, for fear they increase it more, just because she "needs more for expenses not covered by why the court has already ordered and being paid" MN looks at both parties incomes when deciding, but i dont know what they do when a modification is done. I was always told though, when u pay child support u should NOT give extra money on the side for anything, if you wanna buy gifts, so be it, but monies outside of support being taken directly from paycheck is unnecessary, so she shouldnt even be asking. And he doesnt make enough to do it even if he wanted to! She seems to think because we are together and have 2 incomes, he should have the extra money! HELLO____ I DONT THINK SO!!!! LOL

caya506's picture

Modifications are done in the same manner as the initial setting of child support. Use the state calculator to get an idea of what it's going to be. I also live in MN and each modification my SO has had done has been within dollars of the state calculator. And you are absolutely right, he should only pay what the court orders. If his income has stayed pretty much the same and hers has gone up I would expect not to see an increase.

iqrt's picture

We did a CS adjustment because SO had a min. wage job and the judge we had INCREASED his support to 869 from 649 for one kid. It was insane. All because BM bought a new car and a really expensive apartment (she paid $500 more for her apartment than I pay for my mortgage.) We appealed the decision and CS was lowered to $107/month after they found out BM was sending SD to daycare even though she didn't have a job anymore. Nice, right?