Your DH needs to take this up with his children's mother and tell her to use the CS to buy them some clothing. Child support is supposed to go to support the child. That means it goes towards putting clothes on their bodies, a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. Do not allow yourselves to be suckered even once into buying or paying for "extras." There's no such thing as "extras." Everything a child needs goes into that support calculation, according to what our judge told both DH and BM when she tried to take us back to court for more CS.

We only have EOW, so my skids have never kept anything at our house. There have been a few toys that we bought specifically for them to have at our house and I also made sure to have a couple of spare outfits and jackets just in case, but I don't keep a complete wardrobe for them at our house. Whatever they bring with them goes right back home with them. DH pays CS to BM and she is responsible for clothing, feeding and sheltering them with that money.

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

every other week my fiancee is having to buy his son new hat and gloves cause the ex is either malicously keeping them or just too stupid to know it's 10 degrees outside when she takes her kid to school and should bundle him up. I told him tonight he needs to call her and get ALL the hats and gloves back that WE bought since she is the one collecting the child support....I know the kids have needs but this is just getting old and since we pay her to eat out on a daily basis we can't afford to keep buying winter clothes for him.

Since we pay CS and everything I make sure the children have nice things I dont care if they take a few things home with them if I know they are going to get use out of it. And I know it kills her to see her children wear things I bought for them.
We also save all the recipts for court and such. She has always bought clothes for them after I tell her they need clothes. But they will always be too small for them. She is a big POS and I know all the CS is going towards her Jeep payment and her Laywer fees.
She is on subsidized Child Care for Daycare and is behind 2 months!!!
She plays the Victim so well, but a victim is all she will ever be.
a victim of her own self

I wish I could sell her for what she thinks she is worth,
I'd be a millionare twice.

We have been having the same problem since June. We only have SK's EOW also, we have been having the SK's wear the clothes on Sunday that they come in the previous Friday. BM hates this & has SD8 try to sneak her Friday clothes home with her. Took acouple weeks but we caught on. In doing this we only have to provide colthes for 2 days a month. Which isn't bad. It is easier doing this than fighting with BM if we forget a shirt or two when they were bringing their clothes. We have 3 children EOW & sometimes its hard to keep track of who's wearing what. (I guess thats my job). If the clothes they have to wear home from the previous visit isn't appropriate for church or whatever I just have them change before they leave. Evidently the BM is so hard on them about getting "her" clothes back that they seem to understand.

We have FSD9 EOW and whatever she wears to our house on Friday, she wears back to her moms on Sunday. We once bought bags of clothes and sent them to her moms with her, but suprise-never saw them again. When we asked FSD where they were, she said she didn't know, she couldnt find them. Then when we asked BM, she said that FSD had grown out of them. Whatever. BM puts FSD in dorky clothes anyway. sweats and everythings pink. Nothing cute or trendy that FSD picks out when we go shopping. Yeah FH pays child support, but we have clothes at our house also for FSD. We try to reinforce the fact that she lives here too. This is her home too. She has a room and a closet and a wardrobe and everything else she needs. I think if she is bringing things over to "visit" she has an attitude that her dad doesn't have much authority or isn't as much of a parent as her mother is, and I want to squash that.

I can compltely relate you these issues and felt the same way you do. As a child of divorce with a dad that never paid a dime of child support, I got boiled when I see parent taking advantage of situations where the ex-spouse pulls their fair share of the finacial aspect of raising their child. My finace's ex, who divorced him AFTER having an affair with his cousin and marrying the man, now collects 250 dollars a month child support. Now, not much you say? We have his son over 50% of the time. I care for the son every day after school mon-friday from 2 till 5pm. We also have him overnights Fri - sat - and sunday, and he again goes to his moms monday at 5pm. WE also pay for his health insurance, dental, perscription meds 60 dollars a month for school lunches. When school began this year, the son informs us that his mom is only buying 3 outfits and we need to come up with the rest for school. This after every outfit we've bought him disapears and we never see again? 12pack of socks and 2 weeks later, doing his laundry, there's nothing but last years socks? It's frustrating but we still do it for the child. I just wish someone who recieves 50% custody AND child support on top of it and still thinks that the person already paying child support should fund a wardrobe on top of that money would explain why they feel that's justified.

We had a similar issue so I documented everything I purchased and went to our lawyer and she reduced our CS. We had to wait as CS gets updated every year after income tax is filed. At that point we reduced it stating that we had to pay essentially for 2 wardrobes.

Have DH send an e-mail to his lawyer and find out if that works where you live. It's double dipping really. BM should provide an adequate wardrobe for those kids.

My husband's x insisted that we buy all of the clothing that the children needed at our house. She would not pack a bag for them. We only had them 2 weekends a month and he was paying maximum in child support, tuition for a private school, insurance, aftercare expenses and all of their joint debt.

My husband informed her that she needed to pack them a bag because we would not be supplying the clothing for them. She refused and sent them over in shorts in 40 degree weather. Of course we didn't have suitable clothing for them at our house. So I insisted that my husband take the children back to her until she can provide them with the proper clothing. She was not home but at a movie theater in town. He dropped them off to her there.

She wanted her time off from them, so she began packing a bag for them.

It really is about putting your foot down and not backing off. This is one of those times that your husband must "stand his ground." Otherwise, his x will continuously take advantage of him.

If she is not providing adequate clothing or necessities which is what she is tasked to do as the custodial parent, call child protection services and make a report.

When SS was entering kindergarten, BM asked my DH to buy SS new shoes at the beginning of the year. DH talked to me about it. I said, "he still has shoes that fit him, WHY buy new shoes right now?" So we sent him home in the shoes he came with (sandals) and a pair of tennis shoes we had bought him that still fit but were NOT brand new. She was not happy. She wanted DH to buy BRAND NEW ONES for their son. I reminded DH, "Doesn't she get child support to buy clothes for him?"

He mentioned that to her, "No, I gave you a pair of shoes that fit him and you are given child support, so use THAT money if you want brand new shoes for him." Yeah, she was not happy.

This BM works in a 'gently used' clothing store where I'm QUITE SURE she gets a helluva discount on clothes. Her son is wearing the 'latest and greatest' in fashion because she can get 'first pick' being that she works there.

I've never bought the 'brand name' stuff--didn't for my 2 daughters when they were growing up, I'm not a brand-name type clotheshound (unless it's VERY good quality and for me, it will last, for kids--uh, Nope, they grow too fast!)

A couple months ago, my SS mentioned he wanted some "sketchers"...I had to ask him what they were and he showed me a commercial. I told him, "Ched, you have a brand new pair of shoes we bought you that fit you. What's wrong with those?" He said they weren't Sketchers. Um, I was so tempted to say: you are 6 years old child, if you want a brand name, have mommy buy them for you. I told him, "Well, sorry, but you'll have to live with these shoes." & walked away.

She sends him over in mismatched socks. The clothes get washed and the next time he comes over, he's sent back home in the outfit she put on him when he came over...so essentially, she's getting back the mismatched outfit she put him in.

We have clothes for him here that we bought for him...pajamas, shoes, socks, underwear, pants, shirts, shorts, bathing suit, etc. 90% of the time they remain here at the house. He has a couple of really nice sets of clothes that my MIL bought for him...they remain in the house HERE. He wants to wear them to mommy's house but we tell him, "I'm sorry, but you have certain clothes that stay here at daddy's house because he bought them for you."

We do the same thing with toys. If we didn't, they'd never come back here. We're STILL waiting on this blanket that my MIL made for Ched when he was born and BM claims she couldn't find it. I guess it's time for DH to remind her again to look for it.

~*~A Good Mommy will let the kids lick the beaters. A GREAT Mommy will turn the mixer off first!~*~

We have clothing issues here too (see my blog seasonal clothing). The bottom line if getting after bm doesn't work for us though is that we WILL supply what these kids need. Our committment and concern and love for them trumps teaching bm a lesson by making them go without basic needs.

I buy things at rummage sales for them and just discount deals from the lower end stores. We have supplied snow pants just for them to take home so they can play outside in the snow during recess instead of having to sit back with the couple poor little kids whose parents won't do for them or who forgot theirs that day.

The bottom line is we both feel toward the kids we had that they are ours and they need to be taken care of regardless if there was no other parent or the other parent won't do their job. If my kid told me he didn't even have pants to wear at the other house I would high tail it out to target and buy 5 pairs of their $7 jeans and send them because the bottom line is they are my kids and I will do for them even if the OP isn't pulling their end.