Boyfriend's Daughter Acting Strange
Due to busy schedules, me and my boyfriend have his two kids whenever his schedule gives him 2 days in a row which is almost every week. So for almost a year, we have been having the kids for about 2-4 days in a week, and on our vacation days we would have them for a whole week. On wednesday night we only picked up his daughter and not his son because his son was down with a high fever and we didn't want to take him out in extremely cold weather, so we decided to leave him with the BM. We also figured that his 3 yr. old daughter could use her own free time with her BF. Yesterday morning, we are all sitting down eating breakfast and talking about an eventful day that is about to come and out of nowhere she starts saying that she wants to go home. So we ask her again to confirm if she wants to go home and she says yes. So we start to get ready and she says "I DONT WANNA GO HOME." Then we just go on with our day and do everything as planned. I leave for work and leave them two at home, then I get a text messages from my boyfriend saying that she wants to go home and that she doesn't like him. I try to assure him that she doesn't mean that because he was feeling down about it all and then the second message he sends me telling me how she doesn't want to go home and that she likes him now. Now, on my part I am thinking that she probably didn't get her own way with something and that's why she started to say that. And that she's just being somewhat manipulative. The rest of the night she was fine but somewhat distant and not as playful as all the other times when we had her. We get up this morning and she starts screaming and acting out at the breakfeast table, saying mean things like "I don't like you" or "I don't care", so we ask her if she wants to go to her BMs house and she nods her head. We call her BM and she talks to her for few minutes and asks her why she wants to come home and not stay with her BF and she answers with "I don't like him." Now this is really hurtful thing for my boyfriend to hear because I know that no father or mother wants to hear words like that come out of their childrens mouth. BM decides to come pick her up and right before she parks, the daughter flips out and starts crying that she doesn't want to leave and so on and on and on. Same as yesterday and this morning. Now she's never done this before and I was just wondering what could be the cause of this behavior all of a sudden and if anyone else ever experienced this as well?
Kids don't understand...
...why they feel. They just react to feelings they have. Maybe she was hurting & confused that her brother wasn't there. Since she didn't understand why she was hurting she took it out on her dad.
Just a thought.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
3 year old behavior
I have a 4yo BD. One day she loves me "SO MUCH." The next day I am "ruining her life." Yes, she says that to me. She doesn't mean it the way you or I would, she just feels frustrated or upset or whatever and doesn't know how to express it.
Last night BD4 said her dad was being mean to her. Turns out he told her to brush her teeth and she didn't like that. I think it's just her age.
Two to four
days a week ping-ponging back and forth for a three year old is way too much turmoil. That is probably why she is confused (among other things). She needs to live in ONE home and your BF should visit her until she is older. Routine & stability is what they need at that age. Just something to consider.
Don't Take it Personally
When SS6 was 4, he did that to us. The weird part was that he had been stable with my husband for a year or so. We asked the child therapist and she said it was because he was probably used to bouncing around and felt unsteady (even after a year but we realized he had just seen his mother for the christmas holidays). So we had to come up with a tradition and make sure we stuck to our routine. For instance, Friday nights we ate popcorn and played Go Fish so every Friday is Game Night. I tell you, grown ups can only take so much Go Fish, but it worked in the end.
And for the past couple years, Game Night is still every Friday night but thankfully, it has progressed to Star Wars Monopoly.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln
She's three. It's the age and likely nothing more.
I have a BD4. One minute I am her BFF. The next minute, she's screaming, "Mama, you are ruining my life." It's the age. She's our fifth kid combined, so we're pretty immune to it by now. Distraction works well at this age, which is why one minute she feels one way and then does a complete turnaround the next. At this age, she doesn't really have much of an attention span and things are easily forgotten.
~ Anne ~
"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook
That makes sense. Thanks
That makes sense. Thanks guys. That made me feel a lot better about the situation.
"Look at how far you've come and stop concentrating on how much further there is to go."