Any solutions?
Forums:
Hi everyone,
I am 40 and I have a step daughter who is 21. We have been together for about 5yrs. I love her a lot. Ready to do anything for her. Maybe she knows that or maybe she doesn't. My problem is that when I am with her she is a bundle of joy for me. But when I am away or if she is not in front of me I tend to find her as a burden. Or someone who is just with us to use us. This is because we think she takes us for granted. What do I do?
There is not much you can do
There is not much you can do other than to establish firm boundaries and manage your interface with her.
For sure her receipt of any support from you must be in compliance with standards of reasonable behavior and performance that you set. Ideally those standards will be set jountly and in agreement with your wife but... they must be set and enforced regardless.
Being a SParent to adult children that you have not raised is by all evidence far more difficult than being a SParent to children that you raise from a young age in your home in partnership with your spouse.
Just my thoughts of course.
Good luck.