Oh I so get your frustration. We struggled with this with my SS for years. Baseball. He had great eye hand coordination and could hit like nobody's business. But to catch a ball was seemingly impossible for him. Not that he couldn't but because he was terrified that the ball would hit him. For seemingly countless little league seasons I tried to explain to him that catching was no different than hitting. That he could get hit batting too. Nope, he apparently would never get it. So the solution was to put him at one end of our long hallway with all of the doors closed with nowhere for him to go. I would then sit at the opposite end of the hallway and throw balls at him. Never a hard ball. Always a soft baseball. A soft dense foam ball heavy enough to get some momentum but not hard enough to hurt him.

I told him that I was going to throw balls at him until he learned that the only way to not get hit was to catch the damned ball. I had a laundry basket full of balls. We did this for weeks. He would put the glove up and turn his head, he would dodge, he would duck, etc... Until he go so tired he would just stand there and glare at me while dense foam balls bounced off of him. Then once, it only took once, he caught the ball. He realized that if he stood still, faced the ball, and addressed it with his glove that he would not get hit, he would catch the ball, and he could control his own destiny when it came to a baseball. End of issue and the kid from that point on was a pretty good all around baseball player. Interestingly once he mastered it he lost interest a season or two later. The same with swimming, the same with football, etc…. He gained no joy from mastery. I think he actually liked the attention he got from his coaches and team mates when he sucked because they would engage with him to help him get better. Once he got decent they quit dotting on him and he gave up.

Then there was teaching him to ride his bike. Same story. He was so afraid of crashing that he would turn his head to look at me to make sure that I was not going to let go of the bike. This went on for years. I finally got to the point where I told him that I would not let him go unless he looked back and if he looked back that I would let him go and since he was looking back at me he would crash. Nope, completely ineffective. He would look back, I would let go, he would crash, he would push his bike back home in tears and I would grump my way back pointing out that I did exactly what I said I would do. Even my dad who is the master at getting kids to ride bikes (and drive cars) was stymied by the Skid. Finally I loaded the bike in the back of my truck put my kid in the seat next to me and we headed to GoodWill to donate his bike. He was not happy about that.

Skid: “No dad, I like my bike I don’t want to give it away!”
Rags: “Okay, then we are now going to the park to meet your mom and your grandparents for a picnic. After lunch the adults are going for a walk and you are going to sit on your bike. You will not get off of it until you can ride it and you will figure it out on your own and if you are not riding that bike by the time we finish our walk you will push it home and home is about 5miles from the park. Got it?”

Skid: “Ya dad I got it.”

So, we finished lunch I sat him on his bike at the top of a gently sloping grassy hill and I told him that it would probably be easier for him if he aimed down the hill which would make it easier to balance while he was peddling, Then and my bride and my parents and I started on a walk around a small lake. The total walk was about two miles. Less than 10mins later the Skid came flying by us riding like he had been doing it for years.

With my Skid it was about not giving him a choice while clearly demonstrating the consequences of not making an effort. Catch the ball or the ball hits you. Look back and you will crash. Ride the bike or push the bike. Your choice.

Not too many years later this kid was spinning a 9lb rifle at the Military Drill Team National Championships. He got knocked out a couple of times during practices during high school when he missed a catch but never once did he quit or winze over it. This is the same kid that would duck away from a nerf ball.

Hang in there. There is hope.

She's a sweet, kind and loving. She isn't being rude, disrespectful or acting like a brat. Based on what you've posted, this a good kid who isn't causing problems for you or turning the household upside down.

Hopefully mom will figure out what you really think of her child and put an end to this relationship.

I really hope you don't tell that girl just how fat you think she is.
You asked your stepdad, who dealt with you a boy. Boys and girls are different, not mention every child is different. Is she barking orders at you? Treating you like you owe her the sun and stars? Is she running to her dads family and telling them lie upon lie about you and your wife? Has she broken most of your stuff? Does she interrupt you when you're talking to your wife because she feels like her mommy needs to be talking to her instead of you? Does she throw fits over little things like being told to eat her vegtables or clean her mess? Does she walk around in a pissed soaked diaper all damn day?
I'm really trying to figure out how she is making your life tough. It doesn't sound like she's causing drama between you and your wife. It doesn't sound like she hates you and wants you out of picture.

My Skids are with us EVERY weekend and EVERY break from school. They still act like they have no idea what's going on or what the rules are in our house after 5 years.

We call it the "Fifty First Dates" (like the movie) syndrome.

We just keep at it and hope one day it sinks in. I remember my mom telling me the same things over and over. Kids live in the moment, and forgot easily.

As for the sports, everyone has different talents. My dad bought me three different keyboards and two guitars because he is great at playing instruments. He can hear a song on the radio and just play it on the guitar. Not me. I could never master even the basics.