2 yr old step son can't be within 5 ft of me
I'll try and keep this short so it's not rambling
Me and my wife recently married, and she has a 2 yr old from a previous relationship.
I have been in his life for months now, and at first he just ignored me. But now, I cannot get within 5 feet of him without him screaming. Kids are tough and I want to help take some responsibility off my wife. but how can I when he won't come near me or let me near him. I try and change him, he squirms away and runs for it. I make him food, he won't touch it. I have tried everything. I mean really, everything. It's come to the point that I really dislike even being near him.
I dislike him because the boy is spoiled rotten to start off. He has never had any form of discipline in his life as far as I've seen. He's really intelligent, I can tell that easily. But he honestly has a mean nature. He knows not to bite or hit or scratch (which he's gotten good at drawing blood from biting and scratching) but he does it repeatedly and smiles about it. Ya I know, he's only 2, how can he grasp that. But he does. He understands. The spoiled nature comes from his grandmother (my wife's mother) being too in his life. She is a lonely woman and failed raising her own kids, so she has tried numerous times to take my SS away. Literally steal him. The most recent time we had to call the police and they had to make her come back to my home to give us back our son. But on the point, she gives him everything. He let's out a whimper, she's right on him with anything and everything she has. I've been in the car with her while she is driving and if he makes a noise she takes hands and eyes off the wheel to check him! Obviously endangering him and us in the car. I also think this is bad for his development. If all he has to do is cry, how will he keep moving forward with speaking and natural development. My wife agrees that she is too much in his life, but she so far has done little to make this better.
I don't want to hate my stepson. I really don't. But as things are, I don't wanna be around him or anything.
I don't know what to do 
being around him changes my
being around him changes my behavior drastically. My wife will ask me constantly "what's wrong. you seem really unhappy and agitated and angry" It's because he is around me. When we're not with him, I'm happy, optimistic me. But the second I think about being at the house and I know he will be there, I just switch off. I don't do it on purpose, it just..... I don't know the right word for it. I just don't like being around him or seeing him or anything anymore.
I want it to change! I wanna feel love for him and be around him and be a father figure. His biological father isn't that good a guy. He's a bit of a let down and he doesn't try to be in SS's life.
Honestly, fuck. I don't know what to do
It's hard to do but separate
It's hard to do but separate the child from the situation. He is 2 and is only doing what seems to work. The adults in the situation (not you) are enabling his little needs but not in a healthy way. My step-son was 2 when my boyfriend and I started dating and now he's 11. There were times when I wanted to run because I couldn't handle how a little 2 year old seemed to be running my life. Being very independent, it took some getting used to. If you want to make your family situation work, I think Grandma needs to take a backseat. Discuss with your wife some boundaries as far as her involvement. I am certainly not saying keep him from his grandmother but when her behavior is negatively affecting his development, you have to draw the line. Again, he's 2 and will adapt to change well, even if there is some crying along the way. You just have to persevere and not give up. My SS11 gave me a dozen roses and a card that said "Mommy" for Valentine's Day. 9 years ago, as I said, there were days I would just scream... but with time, love and a uniformed parental attack, our family unit is intact and stronger than ever. Don't give up. Be strong. Communicate with your wife. You'll be much happier for it.
I know exactly how you feel!
I know exactly how you feel! SS is 3.5 right now but when I met him he had just turned 2 and it was a NIGHTMARE. He was sooo attached to DH that he couldn't be left alone w me for more than 2 mins or he would start screaming bloody murder! It got to the point where I didn't even want to be around on weekends where SS would be w us because I just felt like the third wheel. It is still a little difficult sometimes, but my relationship w SS has gotten A LOT better. He still has his moments where he wants nothing to do w anyone but daddy and I want to walk out and never look back, but we have come a long way! Stick w it, I'm sure things will look up soon