Hi Everyone,

My name is Lynn and in searching the Internet today for any help I could possibly find, I came across Steptalk.org. Hoping desperately that I can find some sanity here because trust me, I'm having a difficult time finding it anywhere else. A little bit of background:

My husband of 18 years passed away five years ago leaving me with my four children who are now 21, 17, 14, and 11. My two youngest are special needs children. I met my current husband four years ago and we have now been married three years. He is an amazing man! I am incredibly blessed to have him in my life. He has three children who are now 17, 15, and 14. Hubby has custody of all three children because his ex is mentally ill and incredibly unstable. She has never, I repeat NEVER, held a job a day in her life. We STILL support her. She receives a portion of my husband's military retirement (they were married for 14 years)and we now pay her an additional $1500 a month because, although she is the non-custodial parent, we had to let my husband's oldest move in with her last summer due to out of control behavior by the daughter. We had tried everything...psychological counseling, rehabilitation centers, boarding school...we tried it all and S (the daughter) just continued to spiral out of control causing a huge amount of stress on the other 6 children. For the benefit of all, we decided to let S move in with her mom before she brought everyone else down with her...which we were very close to having happen. It was really bad! Anyway, my husband's ex sits at home all day watching tv and living off the retirement money and the child support we give her every month. My husband's two other children don't even visit her very often because of her increasingly erratic and unpredictable behavior.

To make a long story short, S recently dropped out of school (the alternative school she was attending due to being kicked out of regular school), and we found out that she moved out of her mother's house and in with her boyfriend several months ago. The ex never told us this and had S lie to us about it too, so we had no idea until our younger daughter found out through a mutual friend. So, my husband has been paying his ex child support for a child that is not even living with her. He refuses to stop paying because he is afraid of the courts coming after him if he doesn't pay (plus he is just a good man and does the right thing all the time) and, as he continues to tell me, it's only for 6 more months anyway as S turns 18 in September...but still, it is driving me nuts that we are just paving out an easy life for his ex. I know I sound bitter but oh my goodness, it is driving me nuts!!!

Anyway, nice to meet everyone and I hope I don't sound too horrible with my first post, but it's just a bitter pill to swallow every month when we pay this woman thousands of dollars for her to sit at home watching the Lifetime Movie Network.