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LONG VENT - worried!!!!

skylarksms's picture

Found out from MIL that BM got married this past weekend and is 4 months pregnant! I thought our lives would start getting better!

Today I find out (from BM's blog) that she has taken SS15 to Mayo Clinic. Since nobody bothered to inform my DH, I was the one who had to tell him. Sad

I am hoping it is nothing serious but I have no idea. They don't send people that far away for nothing.

I also know that BM is a hypochondriac herself and likes to take the kids in so she can use sick days to get out of work. She has run up big medical bills for SD17 including some not medically necessary like acupressure/ acupuncture, getting titanium eyeglasses the same time she got her disposable contacts, etc.

It's like BM spends her extra time reading the insurance policy to see what ISN'T covered! Earlier this year she had both kids in for CAT scans, which, while covered by insurance, still left a HUGE chunk afterward! When the kids were asked why they had to do that, they both shrugged their shoulders and said they didn't know. SD said that she didn't want to have it but her mom made her.

I know MY DS20 never went to all sorts of dermatologists for HIS acne when he was a teen! And if he wanted contacts AND glasses, he'd had to have glasses for a year until insurance would PAY for the contacts! We have records of more than $2500 in medical bills for SD's acne issues. Worst part is she still has acne! How about some Stridex for like $5 a month??!?

The CO states that BM is to have no contact with us unless it is an emergency to do with the kids or a change in visitation. It also says that each parent is to be informed by the other parent of any medical issues.

Why will she break the CO by calling and screaming at DH because SD got pregnant (like HE did it or something!!) but WON'T call - or even text - and tell him that his only son is going 6 hours away for medical tests?!?

[By the way, we know that SD did NOT get pregnant under our watch because we had heard she was sneaking out at night so DH and I took turns with where we slept so we were by the only two doors to our house!]

It seems like the only way BM has left to "get back at" us is to run up huge medical bills for us to pay. SD had a baby and is now on medicaid so DH doesn't pay her medical bills anymore. SS is in baseball, wrestling and weight lifting and has never complained about any medical issue when over for visitation. But NOW he has serious medical issue(s)???

Dealing with this psycho BM has left me not knowing if she is just piling more bills on us while she still has time or if we truly have something to be worried about with SS. What do you think??

Oh, BTW, more background info: BM had to take SD into the emergency room at 2 a.m. and she ended up having to have an emergency C-section at 9 a.m. BM didn't call my DH to tell him until 8:30am and BM KNOWS that he works an hour out of town!! Luckily everything went fine for SD and baby because my DH was unable to get to the hospital until it was almost over!

Sorry - needed to VENT! Don't know whether to be worried or mad...

Jsmom's picture

My thought on the acne. Stridex and the other stuff didn't work. Going to the dermatologist did. But, I only spend about 200.00 every three months.

Can't you contact your lawyer to revise the reimbursement of medical expenses. She sounds out of control.

pat's picture

She sounds like a psycho. I too have one of these. Maybe , they can get a web page like this where they all hang out and talk $hit ? I agree, she is out of control.

skylarksms's picture

We talked to our lawyer about the medical bills. He said that we can't bring that up to change without a judge thinking that my DH is trying to be a deadbeat dad!

I know that sometimes people have acne problems that are fixed with prescriptions but I don't think that is her problem. I asked if she had tried ProActive and she said that she would rather take a pill than have to wash her face!!

Yeah, I know. My DH told me shortly after we started dating that the mother of his kids was psycho. I thought all exes are to a certain extent. She will get over it. Little did I know...

I sure hope my SS is alright, though. We have absolutely no problem with paying for necessary medical expenses for the two kids!

wriggsy's picture

Isn't there anything in the divorce decree stating that all (non-emergency) medical issues are to be decided together and all costs (after insurance) are to be split 50/50? If not...isn't there some kind of complaint that can be filed with the court stating that the BM is racking up unnecessary medical costs (backed up with doctors reports on tests that all come back with "normal" results)?

We are having something similar, but not as bad. SD has an aunt who is an ER nurse and the aunt is a huge hypocondriac. SD comes home from her house with all kinds of perceived ailments. When SD complained of constant headaches last year..we took her to get glasses (which she rarely..if ever...wore). She continued to complain (and yet, she would go to her room and blast her music and could be heard singing at the top of her voice...sound like a "bad headache" to you?!). Anyhow...BM decided that she would take her to the doctor (imagine my surprise!) and ended up getting SD scheduled for an MRI! Now...I guess DH is a better parent than me, because had I found out that it was going to cost $500.00, I would have immediately told the other parent to be sure to bring their half of that cost. But no...DH ponied up the entire $500.00 all by himself. Even though we carry the only insurance on the kids..we still had to pay for the entire procedure (as usual, we pay for all medical/dental costs, too)! Last month...after months of SD complaining of itching "down there", BM took this 13 year old girl to the ob/gyn. Now...please keep in mind that this child does not keep herself clean. When she goes poo, we are likely to find most of it in her panties...meaning she doesn't wipe. Can you imagine why she is itching "down there"? But no, BM had to make a bigger deal out of it than it had to be and my SD...only 13...had her first gynocological exam. Just the other day, she was complaining again and DH just looked at her at said "Go wipe yourself" It kind of embarrassed her, but my goodness...she will be in high school next year and still doesn't clean herself well enough to keep poop out of her panties!!!

skylarksms's picture

I just found out from my DH last night that she had told him numerous times that if he ever left her for someone else, she would make the rest of his life a living hell.

I guess that BM throwing him out of the house and him meeting someone else (ME) about a year and a half later STILL counts as him leaving her for someone else!

Of course, I am the evil one because I was the one who said, "You don't have court ordered visitation of your own children?? You are their FATHER, you have every RIGHT to see them and not just when she needs a babysitter!"

They were never married, the court order deals mainly with visitation. It says that they are supposed to notify the other parent of major medical issues but obviously BM follows that as well as she has followed the whole court order to begin with! She has been found in contempt of court already but we have been in court so much (both sides bringing the complaints)that we no longer have the money or energy to deal with it anymore. Especially after our lawyer said that we shouldn't bring up medical expenses to the judge. The kids are so close to being 18 now, it's hard to know what to do.

DH last night said he was a loser because he had kids with BM. I said, "No. A loser would be someone who let BM affect him so much that he would choose to not have anything to do with his kids rather than deal with her b.s. You took the harder path."