Need urgent help
Forums:
For those who have read my past, my husband has told me tonight that he has planned for his son to be here in our home for a weekend next month. This will be the first time and I've only ever seen or spoken to this child on 2 or 3 video calls over the 3 years I've been with my husband. My children know of him, my youngest is generally confused how her father has a child she doesn't know and doesn't live with us. (My kids are not his bio kids but he's stepdad 110%).
What do I do?
I would say that this is a
I would say that this is a non event. Do not build it into more than what it is.
Your children are in the marital home full time, or at least regularly. Your DH's prior family progeny visiting for a single weekend is not a big deal and in fact is an opportunity to demonstrate a healthy family and home to this kid.
He is your DH's child. Recognize that, welcome him, hold him to the same standards you do any of the kids in the home.
A positive start is priceless.
Appreciate the input rags.
Appreciate the input rags.
I think my concern is that I don't need to show this child how our family works. He does I admit, seem to have somewhat a healthy family life with his mother. The only thing I've ever heard as a concern is that he's a bit of a mummy's boy still at 7.
I also will be working that weekend, made plans for my children to do things to which my husband agreed to take them to. I think with all the trauma the situation has brought, it's hard to be as blasé about it. I will heavily consider what you've said. I was considering not being there at all and finding somewhere for me and kids to go for the weekend, changing my work hours.
This child is only 7... I am
This child is only 7... I am more concerned that your husband has to little to do with his young child.
Hopefully this will be a positive experience and you can welcome him with open arms.
He hasn't done anything wrong, he is just a child whose father has cast him aside for a new family. I am sure that it hurts him a lot to hear that HIS father is your kids step father 110%, yet you haven't even met him in person. Give him some grace while he battles emotionally with all of this. It is going to be much harder on him than on you.
Unfortunately you haven't
Unfortunately you haven't caught up with my history.
His ex took their son 8 hours away, he goes to visit every month as it costs alot and he needs to stay there...so he is a great father when he's been given permission and allowance to be by his ex.
I was thinking about everyone involved when I wonder if me being here when he visits is a good idea. His mother is a whole heap of insecure, immature mess I don't need in my life. He doesn't need to meet me if his mother won't let it be consistent or on somewhat reasonable terms.
Thanks for the judgement though, awesome personality *preved*