Hello,
I am new to this site and thank God I've found other people who have to be going through the same things I am. I'm sorry to be lengthy but I must give you some background. 9 and a half years ago I met this wonderful guy who was seperated and had a 2 year old, precious little girl. My sons were 9 and 14 at the time and they got along well with my new boyfriend and his daughter. I am now married to this wonderful man who is a great father to his daughter and my boys. My boys are now grown (19 & 24) and his daughter is now 12. We moved in together about 3 months after meeting and got married 4 years later. 5 years into the marriage I am still madly in love with him. The reason he got divorced is because Bio mom cheated on him with her boss. She was a secretary in a local business. 9 years later she is married to the boss, lives in a mansion, owns multiple luxury vehicles (Porsche, Ferrari's, etc.) has been promoted to VP of the business and sends my step daughter to a very expensive college prep school in our area. My husband (Bio dad) has 50/50 legal custody and partial physical custody. He has overnight every Thursday night and every other weekend.
I have watched my husband tirelessly try to coparent with his ex-wife and nothing he does is EVER good enough. It's very frustrating to see the man you love try so hard only to be hammered on relentlessly by his ex. He tries to stand up to her but she just runs over him every time. It's actually amazing to see how manipulative she can be with him and their daughter. I feel really bad for him because this is not what he thought parenting was going to be like and it's hard on him emotionally. We are slowly watching his daughter learn to be as manipulative as her mother. This is the latest...
This weekend is not my husband's weekend with his daughter but he is supposed to have her overnight for Halloween on Saturday. Well, he got a text message from Bio mom asking him if he would please be understanding and give up his Halloween so she could take SD to see her uncle (Bio mom's brother) at a University he is attending with his wife in the Midwest. We live on the East Coast. My husband was not happy that bio mom had discussed this with SD before speaking to him about it because that sets him up to be the "bad guy" if he says SD can't go. However, he asked SD what she wanted to do (knowing she would say she wants to go because mom told her how much fun it would be and how bad uncle misses her.) Uncle has lived out of state and only seen this child a couple times a year for the last 5-6 years. Why everyone needs to readjust their schedules a week before Halloween didn't seem right to me but I had my lips buttoned.
Anyway, my wonderful husband wanted his daughter to be happy and I applaud him for that. He had only one condition...He didn't want Bio mom to take SD out of school Friday because SD has just started Middle School and was scheduled to give a speech with the other 6th graders that day. Granted it is a half day that begins with a Halloween parade, and if she was just missing the parade or some shortened classes he would have been okay with it. He wasn't okay with it because SD was scheduled to give a speech and be there to support her classmates when they gave theirs. He actually told Bio mom that he would agree to give up his Halloween holiday as long as she doesn't take SD out of school on Friday.
Why am I fed up? Because Bio mom tells him she has worked everything out with the school for SD to give her speech the following week. REALLY!!!! This woman's audacity knows no bounds. She actually told my husband he was being selfish. I don't really know why he has a Custody Agreement because he might as well wipe his ass with it. This isn't the first time she has taken SD out of school for convenience either. She has done it multiple times and hasn't even told him about it on at least 3 occasions. She undermindes him at every chance. How can you coparent with someone who completely disregards everything you say?