BM and SM
This is my first time writing here. Sorry for the grammar as english is not my first language.
I am a BM of a 3.5 years old boy and a SM of a 4 years old boy.
My relationship with my BD is very good, we can coparent very well. I have full custody of my son amnd he ahs him evry other wekend and Monday (we both agreed into this schedule not the court). We tipically maintain our conversations just about our son and keep it very straight forward on the things we do when we are with him, exchange pictures ,videos and stories.
He came to open my son's christmas presents yesterday and just to see how happy my son was made me feel I was doing the right thing. The problem is my SS BM is not allow in my house becasue she hasn't been anything but CRAZY since I started dating my husband, she apperently had expectations of getting into a relationship with my husband and things didn't happened that way.
She ruined my 1st and 2nd christmas with my husband becasue of her selfishness and absolute crazy behaviors.
My problem is that when me and my husband go into a fight he always mention the priviledges that BD has over BM, but she would have the same treatment if she didnt try to ruined y relationship so many times.
I get to be judge by my husband's family that BD go pick up my son and actually sit down and have an adult conversation with me.
I'm not changing my relationship with BD becasue of BM behaviors. I f she didn't do the things he did, We all will be at the same level, but that's just not going to happen.
Last thing she did was threatning my husband on taking my SS to Germany since she is married with an Army soldier that we;ve seen twice. My husband had enough and finally decided to do everything through court. My fear is that things don't go the way we expected and she end up with full custody and us having to pay child support to a deadbeat that doesn't take care of her son, he is with us 97% of the time, she dissapear for days nd when she needs money she will appear again.
I need some advices on how to deal with this situation.
Family court is definitely a
Family court is definitely a worry, as they tend to favor women, but he won't have much choice about using them if she is threatening to move his child overseas.
Dealing with a spouse's crazy ex is not easy. She will likely always be difficult.
Don't change your good relationship with your ex because his ex is crazy, BUT, do honor whether or not your husband is comfortable having your ex over on Christmas morning, even if he is a decent guy.
Nail her ass in court,
Nail her ass in court, protect your SS-4 and get this under control. BM may very well be moving to Germany to be with her soldier DH. Your own DH getting custody and BM leaving the country would likely be the best for everyone. Including your Skid.
Yes, family court is a risk. And yes, women tend to have the advantage of bias by the courts. However, if you and your DH have the "97%" posession of SS documented and get a good attorney you should come out well in the effort.
Good luck.