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Change School Distric in Court order

KADM1985's picture
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Honestly why men don't listen!!!

When my husband started all his court/ Custody paperwork back in February 2019. He sent me a copy of the final paperwork him and his BM were going to sign. They did everything in the mediation phase. I noticed the school was very specific, they choosed a school distric where neither of them live at.

I asked him in writing that I noticed the school distric was very specific when neither of them live there. His answer was that we (Me and him) are planning on moving there. I said planning, not that we live there already.

We ended up buying a house in a different school distric becasue we couldn't afford that city. Well now the issue began... when he told his BM, she was crazy (as always). My questions is why is my husband responsible of moving to that school district if they both have shared parenting. My husband is residential parent for school, but that doesn't mean he is legal custodian of my SS.

Here is what the court order says in regards to School:

"For purposes of determining school district, Father's residence address shall be the legal residence of the minor child. It is the intent of the parties for the child to attend the XXXX School district unless otherwise agreed"

Have you being in a situation like this? My husband doesn't live in that school district neither does she. they were dumb to agreed into this and now she is putting all the repsonsibilty on my husband. She wants my husband to falsify a lease and say he rents a room at her ex husbands house!!! (he lives in that school district where her other kids go to) so my SS can go to that school. I told my husband that's fraude and you can get in trouble for that. If she wnats to do it she can, but I'm not letting my husband to do it. Hell no!!

tog redux's picture

"unless otherwise agreed"

If they both agree on a different district, it's fine. 

KADM1985's picture

They are not agreeing. she wants that school district but doesn't live there.. 

tog redux's picture

Well, then either they agree on your district, her district or back to court they go.

Did your DH do this to manipulate BM into giving him the legal residency clause?  If so, that was pretty crappy.

KADM1985's picture

She doesn't have a house, she lives with a friend renting a bedroom, so she can't have Residential custody for school.

MrsStepMom's picture

Intent does not mean MUST. He ended up not living in that district so she goes to the school in the district he does. The wording is saying it is the goal or what they believe will happen but it didn’t. A CO cannot force someone to buy a house somewhere they can’t afford. Also, ya, stupid fing thing to put so specifically in a CO.

KADM1985's picture

Exactly!!!!! it was dumb for both of them to put that in there when neither of them live in that school district. I'm frustrated bc I caught before it was official and he decided to ignored me and now is asking me for help and for my opinion...

MrsStepMom's picture

I’d say “since you didn’t listen to my advice the first time to avoid this problem, I won’t be giving you any more. Figure it out yourself”. 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

The order clearly states that FATHER’S residence address shall be the legal residence of the minor child. That is pretty straight forward. If the school won’t accept the child because they are out of the district than they find a school that will accept the child.

The rest was stupid to put in the order because it’s an INTENT. They can fight all the want from here but what it will come down to is what school will accept the child using the father’s REAL address. What will be an argument is if the district they can apply for has multiple schools. Then they have to agree on which one to send them to.

For example where I go there are at least 3 public elementary schools, 1 charter, and an online school option. Dad might want the kids to go to the school closest to him while BM might fight that the kids should go to the charter which dad would have to take them to every day. Then you end up back in court because you can’t agree.

Thumper's picture

oyyy vayyyyy

Hope everything works out ok.

 

notarelative's picture

The judge can order dad as residential for school or mom as residential for school, but he cannot order a child to attend a school in a district neither parent lives in. BM obviously knew this as she has her other children attending with her ex as residential placement. 

You are correct that it would be fraud for DH to do as BM wishes and claim a residence he does not have. If this is such a valued attendance district you can be sure that the district investigates rented rooms ( in private homes) used for attendance.  I don't imagine BM's ex wanting to participate in this fraud either.

If there is no legal way for the child to attend this district (parent having residence or paying tuition or the state has choice) than they are headed back to mediation or court due to the unless otherwise agreed wording. 

 

simifan's picture

If they allow out of district students for tuition, I'm thinking your DH could be on the hook for the costs. 

notarelative's picture

Out of district tuition can be pricey. Here you could send your child to private for about the same amount of money. 

Districts here will allow it if there is room. 

But, if the price of a house in the chosen district was a problem, tuition to same district is also going to be a problem. Even with the cost of attorney fees going back to court may be cheaper in the long run. 

STaround's picture

But then DAD should not have signed the order.  Where I live, judges hate when parties come back for stuff they should have never agreed to in the first place.   Of course circumstances change, people's reserve units get called up, etc.  But this was dad either trying to finagle a situation or being an idiot. 

elkclan's picture

We didn't have a court agreement or anything, but my ex promised to move into the catchment area of a school I wanted my son to attend. He didn't. I couldn't do anything about it. But I was pissed off. In my view BM has a right to be upset about this and the decent thing to do would have been to talk to her about problems with buying a property in that area if it was the intent and so much the intent that it was put in writing. 

OP you are right though that if you fake a lease that's fraud. 

I only have one kid and in the end I let him apply from my ex's address and although we didn't get the school I wanted we got my 2nd choice school (1st choice from what we put down). 

Rags's picture

Things happen, life changes.  Sometimes things that might have been agreed to are no longer possible.

We had an interesting situation with SS when he was still at home. I don't recall the specifics of the situation but I had told SS that I would do something and I didn't do it.  Something happened that interfered in my ability to do what I said I would do.  He accused me of lying to him since I did not do what I said I would.  I had to explain to him that a lie is telling an untruth and that failing to do something that a person said they will do is not a lie. It is failing to live up to a commitment.  I fully confirmed that I had not been able to do what I had told him I would do.  

Circumstances change.  Or in the vernacular... shit happens.  

 

 

STaround's picture

Immediately after order, judge may get pissed.  Judge may ask, how did dad plan on making this happen?  Maybe YOU were not lying.  Maybe dad here is not being truthful.  Hard to understand what changed. 

Rags's picture

According to the OP they could not afford a home in the originally intended school district so they bought elsewhere.  Since the CO clearly states that DH's home is  the address of residence for school purposes there is certainly the possibility that this is an OBE (Overcome By Events) situation that does not constitute an egregious violation of the agreement.

The sticking point is the agreement element regarding school districts.  However, the X should not have any say on where the OP and her DH live.  

If it were me, I would tell the XWBM to suck it up or she can head back to court.  Her choice.

It is likely a 50/50 proposition regarding how a Judge would react considering that it has already been agreed that Dad's home is the school home of record.

flmomma08's picture

Oh lord, I can totally see my DH doing something stupid like that. The CO wording is terrible - it should have stated the child will attend school from either father or mother's house, not specified a district. Sounds like they will either have to agree on a different district (father or mother's actual district) or go back to have the CO modified. I personally would make my DH handle this one since he got himself into this mess and it doesn't really affect you. I understand the frustration though, I just try to pick and choose what I give my energy to lol

KADM1985's picture

I don't get in the middle at all, but my money is going to an attorney again

. We share accounts...

 

 

Rags's picture

My DW was the CP and we changed school districts several times over the years.  SpermGrandHag would bitch and moan but .... she could either suck it up or .... take us to court.

She sucked it up though she was a manipulative POS about just about everything.