When my DD father is in the picture, I will have her make him something. I will also usually have SS4 make something for his BM if there is time. I suppose it is a nice gesture on his end but I wouldn't be spending any money. They can just as easily make her something to celebrate the day. The first year DH and I were together, he bought a gift for BM and I was actually quite upset bc he didn't acknowledge me at all, as the SM who cares for the child or even just as a mother bc I already had DD. I guess it just depends on teh relationship. I would be upset personally if DH went out of his way for BM, as she does NOTHING but make our lives more difficult.

DH would never get BM anything. The boys usually make something at school. They make sure I know that it's "just for mommy", which isn't meant to hurt my feelings, as DH says, but it does. On fathers day last yer, they wanted to get something for themselves instead of their dad.

I agree that it is usually the child who feels bad/guilty with nothing to give. DD and I usually bake cookies for her father for any occasion she feels the need to give a gift. They are easy, cheap and she makes them herself. I guess its nice they have that kind of relationship but like I said before, BM of SS4 is always up on her high horse of crap so I wouldnt want DH to spend money on her...especially when he barely acknowledges me on holidays! I hope DH recognizes you on mothers day as a SM if he is going out of his way for his ex.

Mothers day lands on my BS's weekend at his dad's, and I'm not going to insist on having him with me on mothers day and interrupt his weekend with his dad... (A 10 year old boy isn't exactly going to plan a brunch for us, ya know?)

Skids are also away for the weekend, with their BM, (thank God), so I don't have to even face that awkwardness.

I feel like, my Skids have a mom... I am not their mom... so mothers day between them and me is meaningless! So no weirdness or expectations there. If they DIDN'T have a mom... UGH I would be dreading a phony/weird mothers day with them!

Hmm, I suppose it's ok for your BF to take your SS5 and SS9 to get their mom something for Mother's Day so long as whatever is purchased from the boys doesn't cost a small fortune. Whatever happened to making something for mom? I know in school they do tend to have the kids make a craft or something for Mother's Day. My DH has never had to do anything like that for SS11. SS11 always makes something for BM in school or on his own at home. The most that I will do this year is take him to the store to get some craft paper as he mentioned that he needed some to make her a card. Minimal expense to us so no big deal.

I have not read all the replies however in my situation there is NO WAY my dh would even think of getting anything for the bm to make she she was 'taken care of'. That is stupid when you get divorced that is what that means NOTHING to do with either but the well being of their kids!

Bm has family that can take her kids to get her something and if they don't that is her problem not her's or your dh's period!

I know for us if we did she would just throw it away saying it was not good enough and she has. I took the boys to get her a christmas present and she said it was not good enough b/c we spent the money and she threw it away.

I still say she has family that can and probably will take them to get her something for mothers day. That is just the way it usually works at least where I'm from. All the step moms and moms I know the moms family will take the kids to get them something to give to their mom.

I see it was my job to get my dh something for father's day it is not your job nor your dh's job to get something for the bm. But that is my view.

If DH's kids were too young to do their own shopping, and they asked him nicely, he would have taken them shopping. However, he would not have brought it up on his own.

I always had my exSO take his kids to get BM not only a Mother's Day gift, but Christmas and her birthday. However, it was alwasy US doing for her. She would even tell the kids what she wanted for Christmas so me being stupid would make sure (even though we had picked out something) run back out and get her that "hair dryer" or whatever. The kicker is, she NEVER took the kids out to get SO anything...NOT even a dollar store gift. Wait I take that back. Two years ago she got him a "Parenting for Dummies" book for Father's Day. She is a low life tramp. She got was the one that lets her kids run around town in rags while she is always dressing nice, having her hair done, and manicure. She NEVER makes sure they had any extras for school (such as class Christmas parties.) She always says "I have no money, ask your dad or MOM23ms." Total BS because she makes good money (and lives at home with her mom.) Funny how she has money to drink and go out.