Stepkid in Christmas cards?

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Hi -- I'm engaged to a man who has three kids from a previous marriage, aged 21, 18, and 14. We have partial custody of the 14-year old and have had partial custody for the past two years. My fiance and I have been together for three years and every year have done a Christmas card with just a funny photo of the two of us. Before I met my fiance, I never did cards with photos (I unfortunately am involuntarily childless and lost all of my pregnancies), so I always used to just send out a card. But he likes to do a card photoshopping funny pictures of us into still shots of Christmas movies, etc. This year he says he wants to do a card with the two of us PLUS his youngest son in it. I hate to say this but his kids are just rotten, there is no way around it. My family and friends think so too, it's not just my own opinion. His kids are just very immature, spoiled, rude, and disrespectful. I cannot bring myself to create the Christmas card my fiance wants to make with his son in it, but I know this will upset and hurt him when I say no. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, having to live under the shadow of his "Family", having to deal with the stress of the boy living part-time in my home, and watch my fiance be a slave to his ungrateful kids. I simply cannot create this Christmas card, but don't know how to get out of it without hurting my fiance's feelings. Any ideas or suggestions or even empathy is greatly appreciated!

What I decided to do is

What I decided to do is similar to your suggestion, 10gallonhat. I told him I'm not sending cards this year (I never used to send a card with photo before, anyway) but I told him I'd help him finish making the card if he wants to send them out to his family/friends. As you said, I think a lot of people are phasing out the sending of Christmas cards anyway; they are expensive and time-consuming for those of us who work 40+ hours a week -- and people just throw them away after right Christmas anyway.

The boy is 14 and we have partial custody of him. He is constantly verbally abusive of me and often borders on physically abusive to me (slams his hand over my mouth when I am talking... things like that). I've made it clear to my fiance (we're not married yet) that I will be kind and respectful to the boy but I have ZERO interest in being his "mother." He already has a mother. My fiance knows how extremely painful the holidays are to me as I had some very difficult losses/miscarriages. If he would "lose respect" for me over my Christmas card decision, then he's not the kind of man I'd want to be with. I give and give and give to the two of them, and to his other kids as well, but there are just a few issues that I know I simply cannot do. Sending out a card including the boy as if we are a family is just too painful for me.