Step Mother Alienation - How to cope
I am experiencing some PAS except it isn't PAS because I am SM. Is there such as thing as SMAS?
My SS10 used to be chatty and happy and we got on so well. Now he hardly talks to me. It hurts me but every moment I am with him I try to remember that it isn't his fault.
Still, I used to so look forward to him coming and now it's not so great.
Last month I offered him some apple and he said no. 3 minutes later his Dad offered it and he had some. So far, BM hasn't targetted his father so I guess that is a real bonus for us.
The whole thing is so awful and divisive though. I don't feel free to talk about it with DH. I guess he expects me just to live with it since SS10 isn't "mine". But it makes me feel isolated and SS10 is starting to really play on it a bit. He is way over the top nice and chatty and close to his Dad (or maybe it just seems ott in comparison to how he is with me). He is even starting to compete with me I think. He is constantly demanding his Dad's attention and annoys DS15 until DS reacts and then gets his Dad to save him.
I am even starting to think that DH kind of blames me. After all, I am the adult. From his point of view, I think he thinks I should get on better with SS.
I would really like some advice.
I have gone through this at
I have gone through this at the exact same age ... SS10 did it when he got back. DH told me to be the adult.
But he still processed what I said because about a week later he laid into SS10 with "Your SM takes care of you, would give you the shirt off her back ... etc" and SS10 cried that DH loved me more than him to which DH said "I love her differently you dork. You want me to kiss you and hug you and all the creepy stuff I do with her to you? That's just gross Son."
SS10 still piped up with attitude once in a while after that but I just ignored it and it passed ... FOR NOW.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln