I have never been on this site, or posted on any other about this, but i need someone to vent to other then my dh. I need some insight and direction on things that are on my mind and are making me crazy. I met my husnand almost 6 years ago and we got along very well. I had the chance to walk away from all this back then when i saw how unstable the bm of the 4 year old at that time was, but like most of us dreamers, i thought it would all work out in the end. I basically helped my husband care for this little girl while the mother was in rehab and then when she was living the high life being an irresposible parent that was never there for her kid only when it was convenient for her. About a year ago, she lost her money making job, her car, her home and ended up in a therapy group which really helped her(another 6 weeks of just dh and I taking care of ss8 at that time). She got a steady job, stopped hanging out with her old crowd deciced to finally focus on her child and for the first time in almost 5 years she was able to have her on the weekends. Every year before that (they have joint custody) she said she could not have her on weekends because she had to work. That was very hard for me because this child had a lot of drama, and tamdums, dinner was always a time for an episode, but i manage to hang in there because dh is really a good man that wanted the best for his child. But the bm knows this and continously takes advantage of it. She determines the schedule all the time and husband just agrees to everything every time even if its unfair becuase he wants to spend as much time as possible with his child. For a year now things were actually sooooo much better. BM picked her up on thursday evenings and then we would pick her up monday afternoon at school. Perfect!
bratty SS9 spent time with her grantsher every with bm and i was able to spend my weekends with my husband and our 3 year old daughter. It was like a miracle, the home had peace for the first time. You see the thing is i have to fill in when my husband is not able to. He just changed jobs 3 months ago and now he travels all the time on short notice. I need to do everything he would do if he were here, pick her up, do homework, feed her and get her in bed and off to school in morning. What pisses me off is that this woman know that he just changed jobs with an unreliable schedule, just decided to change jobs too, so she again needs to change her schedule. and I am the schmuck that needs to do the extra work if he is not around. I find it unfair, i feel used i feel like just a babysitter and like they both just take advantage of the fact that now there is a third person to help them out. But the problem is that I have kids too!!!!!! I have my 3 year old and my 15 year old son from another marriage, and i still need to bail them out and do my duties.... Am I crazy here,am i unreasonable? whats wrong this picture???
I expressed my frustrations to my dh and he does not see it... he just said its the new schedule, she will be her saturdays now and that it, well see how it goes. I told him that I was not going to change my routines on my weekends to accomodate this new change. I like spending time with my 3 year old on saturdays and not having to watch over an overpowering 9 year old that need to get attention and spoils by 3 year old so she can like her more than anyone else in the house (she got that from her bm)!!! arrrgggg please i need some honest advice, dont want someone to just take my side, i am having trouble getting over this.......help!!!