You are here

Second Marriage

SebringLad's picture

Submitted by SebringLad on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 5:33am

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

No way would I ever re-marry,especially if step-kids were involved !!
After reading so many posts,it seems to be a losing deal.
To those of you who do so successfully,congrats to you !!!!

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 6:08am

I wish I found this site 20 years ago. I would have been duly warned.

anafiodorova's picture

Submitted by anafiodorova on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 8:28am

I can testify that if they are nice to you the first year of dating once things get serious everybody changes their behavior. It is really strange but it happens:). I will never ever get involved in a step situation. Too much drama and dysfunction.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

Submitted by GhostWhoCooksDinner on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 9:04am

Exactly! SS9 used to really like me. BM completely PASed him within a year and that changed everything.

I would marry DH again in a heartbeat though. There will always be the drama; the key factor is how your SO deals with it and lets it interfere in your lives or not.

anafiodorova's picture

Submitted by anafiodorova on Sat, 08/17/2013 - 11:57pm

Completely agree. Mine showed me where his loyalties lies when we got engaged. He was good with saying and promising things but when he had to act on these things he failed to. At one point it was like having a part -time partner. Everybody in his family was against the marriage for no particular reason - they simply donot like change, feared the new and could not understand the dynamic.He and his mother told me - nothing will change.And as we know so much has changed since. Now that BM got married this May my ex suddenly wants so much to get married to the girlfriend he is dating for 6 months and who lives 3 hours away. His mother and family are all calling her the missis and are so supportive. They just cannot let BM win and have a happy healthy marriage :).
So yes, if your SO cannot do that and not only support you with words but also actions and follow through on his promises - best thing to do is have the courage and leave.

stepinafrica's picture

Submitted by stepinafrica on Sun, 08/18/2013 - 4:48pm

Your main focus should be on your marriage. Be kind to the skids but trying to be the world's best step mum ALWAYS leads to stress.