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proper etiquette

linder410's picture

My stepdaughter is 42, her father and I have been married for 1 year. She never has called our home to speak with or acknowledge me. She lives out of town and calls her father on his cell phone to make arrangements to stay at our home whenever she wants to visit. I feel this is very disrespectful, and she should make these arrangements with both of us. My husband disagrees. Am I wrong?

bestwife's picture

No she doesn't have to call you directly. It is only natural for her to call her father. Hopefully he says to her "I'll check it out with linder" and get back to you.

How does she act when she is there?

Maybe she is shy and it is difficult for her to call someone she does not know very well. Or in today's world maybe she is just used to calling the cell of the person she wants to talk to.

linder410's picture

I've tried to make her and her daughter (my husband's 16 yr old grand daughter) comfortable & at ease in my home whenever they visit. She feels he's her father & it's not necessary to call me, however I'm the one who has to cook, etc. when they vist.

Disneyfan's picture

I can understand her calling dad about visting. However, nothing should be final until your husband speaks to you.

Why do you have to cook for them? Since daddy wants to handle all the planning, let him do all the cooking.

PeanutandSons's picture

I would do the same exact thing. If I was going to visit a parent, I would call them directly, not their spouse. It's dhs job to relay the info and get your approval of the dates ect. I would think it quite weird actually, if she was calling you for permission to come see her father, esp if you've only been married one year.