Presents for DH fron BM, I need advice
BM seems way to attached to my DH. They have been divorced sinse SD was 3 months and she is now 8. She still buys my DH gifts for every occasion including baking cupcakes and such. She also buys for his parents. I am very uncomforable with this. Most gifts are pics of SD in custom frames that are engraved with Daddy's Angel, #1 dad. But having 5 children myself we try to be very inclusive of a family unit. Pics of all, gifts from all. My BKids dad is not involved at all and my DH has really stepped up for us. As long as I am not with him BM gets out of car on drop off for long converations, but if I am with him its all dirty looks. We don't know each other at all but she has removed all his time. Just finished court where she tried to say I was unsafe and should not be left alon with SD. Our family is great but BM is a nightmare. I want to help kids with gifts and think she needs to focus on her family. She is remarried with a new baby. And I don't want my home decorated with her items and things she buys on my walls. This is my hoe and my family, I want her to back off with the gifts. Help!
I think the court/danger
I think the court/danger issue is seperate from the gift issue.
You don't have to decorate your house with anything from her. Find a box of some sort for everything that SD "makes" for DH. Tell her you want to keep them somewhere safe, if she asks.
As for court, I'm sure you probably know, but get a lawyer. This is a classic BM theme we see here all the time. Don't let her bully you and your family.
Thank you doll face, Court is
Thank you doll face,
Court is already over and the judge agreed with us. I can still be "unsupervised" and DH got all the extended time he asked for. I just want boundaries, the box thing is a great idea. She used to call 9 times a day to chat with my Dh and he finally had to get rude about it. It was so invasive. Now they communicate by e-mail mostly. I guess to be honest I want HER to know there are boundaries. She wants there to be SD, her and DH in a seperate family unit to the extent of even excluding her own husband. I just don't get it.
Your dh has to set those
Your dh has to set those boundaries!!! This is set squarely on his shoulders!
But I would do as doll face said put them all in a box for sd. Dh has to tell bm to stop giving gifts to him. It would bother me too in fact bm did try it once and after I explained to dh how it bothered me and why even asking how would he feel if my ex gave me gifts all the time. He got it and told her to stop.