New to site, need advice.
To make a long story short, I am in a quandary. My SO has two bio children and two kids that " call him dad" ( from his second marriage). His son was suppose to spend 3 weeks with my SO's brothers family, who has a SS with cystic fibrosis, that is close to my SOs sons age. Well that only lasted a little over a week before there was a call made to my SO about his son making prank calls. Well today we have to meet SOs brother half way to pick up this child. This child has issues with behavior and rules. Has been kicked out of public school for his behavior, made to be placed on a behavior plan when he got back in school. He lies lies lies, constantly. My SO makes excuses for him. My SO is extremely rigid on my kids. In all fairness, being a single mom for six kids, my children need strict rules because I had to work so much, they have little respect for what I've done.
My problem is that we had decided not to spend money on fireworks, because we are getting married soon, and I am the only one employed. So now that his son is coming back, he brought up that "he" feels we could get the kids some sparklers and bottle rockets. I'm not stupid. I know his son wants bottle rockets. So let's schmooze me to get them. This pisses me off. How do I settle this matter? Advice please.
You say, "No, we already
You say, "No, we already decided that we weren't going to get any fireworks, since I am the only one EMPLOYED."
Besides, the kid should have some kind of consequence for causing trouble when was with the brother's family. Your SO wants to reward him, instead?
And why are you the only one employed?
He wanted a career change. We
He wanted a career change. We also have a chicken farm. So he takes care of the kids, the farm and we also care for his parents, which his mom has cancer.
10 kids!! Why in the world
10 kids!! :jawdrop: Why in the world would anyone sign up for this?
That man needs a job. The 10 kids can take care of the chickens. My mom has cancer, yet my sister and I still work and help her out when we need to.
It's time to open your eyes and realize that that this guy is using you.
My oldest is married , his
My oldest is married , his oldest is almost married but neither live with us. No the kids want to spend all day in the Internet or tv. Not caring for chickens.
That's no change there. I've
That's no change there. I've done it as a single mom my whole parenting life.
So what. I was a single
So what.
I was a single parent as well. I had no problem providing for my son and I. However, there was no way in hell I would support a grown ass man and his children. There's nothing attractive or enduring about an able-bodied man who is content to live off of the woman he claims to love.
Wait,you have 6 kids. How were you a single parent the whole time???
OK, so 8 kids, that's still
OK, so 8 kids, that's still :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
Who cares what the kids want. His ass needs a job. And if the two of you tell the 8 kids they have chicken duty, then damn it, they have chicken duty. How do you allow him to use that as an excuse while you are stuck working and supporting 10 PEOPLE!!??? :sick: :sick:
No the kids want to spend all
No the kids want to spend all day in the Internet or tv. Not caring for chickens.
Oh, okay then.
If this is a relationship you
If this is a relationship you want to last, he's going to have to respect you and your decisions too and hold true to agreements you have made. Remind him you already made that decision together to not get fireworks. And maybe explain to him that you don't want to reward his son's negative behavior. Maybe you can compromise and get cheap sparklers but no bottle rockets. Tell him with more kids in the house now you don't have the finances to cover fireworks. Maybe the kids can earn money or earn a reward by helping out around the house or with the chickens. If they only want TV and internet, make them earn that time by helping out. You have a lot of people around and you should not be the only one working.