New and needing some advice
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After searching for hours have found this forum and hoping someone can give me an idea of how to tackle this issue.
I have 2 kids, (12 and 7)1 step kid 
Behaviour of skid is uncontrollable, she is rude, entitled, bratty, nasty and spoilt. Her behaviour is aimed and tolerated by everyone in her life, from hitting, throwing tantrums to refusal of most basic things like eat your dinner.
I have had enough and don’t know how or what to do, I’ve tried for 12 months and just can’t like her at all. I feel such a terrible person for thinking such a thing.
What does her dad do when she
What does her dad do when she acts like that? How does he respond when you point out that she is being rude etc? Does he want her behavior to change? Is he willing to work to get it to change?
Thanks for reply Yes he pulls
Thanks for reply
Yes he pulls her up, there are consequences but it doesn’t deter her at all. I’ve never met much a defiant child. She seems to thrive off negative behaviour and positive reinforcement techniques have all failed miserably.
She is slightly better with me because I don’t tolerate it. He does parent her, I never have her alone and other than cooks. Family meal he picks up everything else.
I’m at a total loss how to deal with it!
Should have pointed out, He
Should have pointed out, He does have parental guilt about not living with her, this shows in his distance towards my kids sometimes, he can over compensate with being a lot more tolerant than I am, however he does hit a point and she doesn’t give up
Maybe it is time for
Maybe it is time for parenting classes or a behavioral specialist to give her dad (and you) some pointers. Does she behave at school? Her teachers might be able to give some advice too.
She behaves perfectly in
She behaves perfectly in school so we know she can. I think there is some major problem that needs attention, she sets the bed twice a night and shows some very manipulative behaviour far too advanced for her age.
Her mum babies her, treats her like a toddler which I don’t think helps. And I mean a toddler, she is carried all the time, dressed, fed and
I just feel like the time we have with her is so difficult. When mine are around her behaviour improves tenfold as she copies them.
Last night she screamed dadddeeeee from her bedroom and I went in as I was awake, asked her what was wrong and she screamed in my face “get out, get out” then when her dad went in all she was sweetness and light!
We are all sat together now and things are great, however I know that everyone is waiting for an outburst!
Introduce her to an isolated
Introduce her to an isolated corner every time her behavior is inappropriate. Place her nose in the corner in contact with both intersecting walls and any time she so much as twitches or makes a peep of noise swat her on the rump. No quarter, zero tolerance, and inform your SO that if doesn't like how you discipline and parent his toxic spawn then he can step up and get it done before you have too.
IMHO far too many people worry about feelings rather than focusing on behavioral choices. Consider only the choices this kid makes and address those and quit worrying about her feelings.
My perspective is that it is not the kid that you detest. It is her chosen behavior so focus on the that behavior and apply innovative consequences until you find a portfolio of consequences that she will do anything to avoid and behave accordingly.
You have nothing to feel badly about. So... make her miserable until she makes better choices regarding her behavior.
As for the bed wetting.... if there are no medical issues causing it.... send her to school in a diaper and let her peers solve that problem. It worked wonders for my kid when he got lazy and started wetting the bed at that age.